MAY 18, 2007
GENRE: PREDATOR, CRAP
SOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)
I have no idea what year this movie is technically from. The DVD says 2005, the IMDb says 2006, and it was released in a couple of theaters and on DVD in 2007. At any rate, I am referring to the one about the killer dogs who never actually appear threatening and starring that one guy from Black Xmas.
A few reviews back I pointed out a line that was just as useless as "He'll be unstoppable, unless we stop him." I forget which movie it was (probably a Rebane one) but it doesnt matter, because The Breed had one that topped em both: "He wouldn't be caught dead dying." WHAT?
There is also a 10 minute segment of the movie consisting of nothing but foreshadowing: from the car that doesn't always start, to the fact that one of the guys is handy with a bow and arrow, to the fact that the house has a zipline. It's borderline parody.
The level of dog violence is impressive: shot with arrow, slammed into tree, a couple get run over... the dogs settle for just biting the humans. But it's not enough to keep the movie from earning the increasingly common "Crap" label.
And fear not! The movie carries the fine "Wes Craven Presents" tradition of hiring a complete vacuum of screen presence as the lead (this time, uber bore Michelle Rodriguez, an actress whose appeal will never make the least bit of sense to me) and a much more interesting actress (Taryn Manning) as her friend. But then again, nothing about this movie really bothers to be different so I guess it's no surprise.
What say you?
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