Michael Kun's "The Locklear Letters"

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Michael Kun is the author of several books, including Corrections to My Memoirs (to which he applied the Page 69 Test) and The Locklear Letters.

Here's the author on a film adaption of The Locklear Letters:

The Locklear Letters, in a nutshell, is the story of a computer salesman named Sid Straw, who lives in Baltimore. Sid sends a letter to his college classmate, Heather Locklear, the star of Melrose Place, Spin City and a number of other television series, requesting an autographed photo for his brother. Unfortunately, Sid's request leads to more and more letters that have a terrible effect upon his job, his relationships and his mental health.

We sold the film option on the book several years ago, and I have heard different things at different times about what might happen with it. At this stage, God only knows whether it will ever be made into a movie. Maybe it will, and kids everywhere will be playing with Sid Straw and Heather Locklear action figures! Perhaps more likely, it will never be turned into a film. And those Sid Straw and Heather Locklear action figures I made in the garage will collect dust.

Candidly, I did not think of the book ever being turned into a movie as I was writing it -- it did not occur to me at the time that an epistolary novel might translate well into a movie -- so I did not picture anyone as Sid Straw or any other character while writing the book. Since selling the option, I have heard a number of actors mentioned to possibly play Sid Straw. Will Farrell, Ben Stiller and Phillip Seymour Hoffman are the ones that I heard most often. Oh, and John C. Reilly. I'm sure all would be excellent, though the movie would be considerably different depending upon which of them played the role. I've also heard that it might be made as a small, independent film using a relatively unknown actor. That's fine by me, too. Although they probably wouldn't make action figures if that were the case, would they? Damn!

As for who would play the part of Heather Locklear, who makes a brief appearance in the book and presumably would make a brief appearance in the movie as well, I would think that Diane Lane or Sandra Bullock would be perfect. Or Catherine Zeta-Jones. Seriously, though, if they ever do make a movie of the book, I imagine Ms. Locklear would have considerable leverage in negotiating her price to appear in it. I hope she gets every penny she can.

By the way, I'm joking about the action figures.

At least as far as you know.

Read more about The Locklear Letters and Michael Kun's other work at his website.

--Marshal Zeringue