Walter Greatshell's "Xombies: Apocalypse Blues"

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When not writing satirical horror novels, Walter Greatshell dabbles in freelance illustration (with an eye to creating dark children’s books, comics or graphic novels), humorous nonfiction (a throwback to his early days as a freelance journalist and arts critic), and stage acting (including in local productions of Oedipus Rex and Karel Capek’s R.U.R.). He has been a graveyard-shift nuclear-submarine technician and the general manager of a Providence landmark: the Avon Cinema.

His latest book is Xombies: Apocalypse Blues.

If they made my book Xombies: Apocalypse Blues into a film, here's who I'd like them to cast:

For the plucky-but-difficult heroine, Lulu Pangloss, I originally envisioned Christina Ricci circa Addams Family Values, but she's the wrong age bracket now, so I'm thinking Abigail Breslin or Dakota Fanning. The '70s actress Kim Darby (True Grit) would have been ideal.

For her doomed mother, I can picture Kathy Bates, but the ultimate crazy-mom candidate would have been late-Fifties-era Shelley Winters.

Steve Buscemi would be a bug-eyed marvel as Lulu's estranged dad, Fred Cowper--both before and after Xombification.

The role of unctuous Chairman Sandoval demands the sleazy charm of Alec Baldwin. In an earlier time, it would have been George Sanders (Rebecca).

Commander Coombs calls for the seriousness and desperation of Harvey Keitel.

The nasty Navy duo of Kranuski and Webb should absolutely be played by Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau. Their physical types are perfect, and they would also bring a funny edge to the characters. This whole thing should be played as dark comedy.

For Dr. Alice Langhorne, I can think of no actress as scary as Sharon Stone, although Glenn Close comes a close second. Or maybe even Meryl Streep, a la The Devil Wears Prada.

My ideal director would have been Stanley Kubrick in his most satirical Dr. Strangelove mode. Since he's dead, I would go with Alfonso Cuarón (Children of Men) or Paul Verhoeven (Starship Troopers).

But why have actors at all? I wouldn't mind seeing the whole movie done with puppets (check out the Xombies: Apocalypse Blues book trailer on YouTube), or CGI, or Miyazake-level anime! Let's get crazy, people!

Learn more about the book and author at Walter Greatshell's website and blog.

--Marshal Zeringue