The Howling

DECEMBER 31, 2007GENRE: WEREWOLFSOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)How’s this for disappointment? I sit down to watch The Howling for the first time since I was 6, expecting that, like Gremlins (another Dante film that I just re-watched for the first time since hitting puberty), I will enjoy it on a different, and higher, level. But not only do I discover that whatever I watched as a kid WASN’T The Howling, but I also didn’t really much enjoy the actual Howling. So now a childhood memory is tarnished, and there’s a rare good werewolf movie out there whose name is unknown to me.Part of the problem

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Based On Novel, Werewolf,

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Club Dread

DECEMBER 30, 2007GENRE: COMEDIC, SLASHERSOURCE: DVD (ONLINE RENTAL)Sadly, Club Dread has one of the all time records for essentially bombing in theaters. Not that it lost the most money or anything, but the film’s already dismal opening weekend had one of the largest drops in attendance for its 2nd weekend in all of movie money making tracking history. Gotta be proud.Well I must admit, regrettably, that I am one of the 5.9999 billion people who didn’t go see the film in theaters, because as it turns out, I liked it a lot. Since I haven't seen Super Troopers (or their latest, Beerfest), I wa

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Comedic, Slasher,

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Lipstick

DECEMBER 29, 2007GENRE: RAPE-REVENGE (?)SOURCE: DVD (ONLINE RENTAL)Female Cop: "Did he urinate on you?"Rape Victim: "What?"Female Cop: "Did he urinate on you, or defecate?"Rape Victim: "They DO that?"Female Cop: "....some do."Now, not that I find rape funny, but exchanges like this should only be delivered by good actors. When it's two BAD actors saying them, as is the case in Lipstick, then it just becomes sort of silly, which is a problem that plagues the entire film. It takes itself deadly serious, but there are so many elements that make me chuckle that it doesn't work in any genre.Chri

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Horror?, Rape-Revenge,

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The Attic

DECEMBER 28, 2007GENRE: CRAP, PSYCHOLOGICALSOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)I don't even know who sent me The Attic. It came sans press notes or any sort of information at all. The mailing address just had the PR company that handles lots of outlets, so that was no help. I don't even know if I was supposed to review it for this or Bloody D. Well at any rate, whoever sent it should be tried for war crimes.The terribleness of the film was made even more excruciating by the fact that I was actually somewhat excited to see it. It was directed by Mary Lambert, one of the few female horror directors

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Crap, Psychological,

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The Orphanage (2007)

DECEMBER 27, 2007GENRE: GHOSTSOURCE: THEATRICAL (PREVIEW SCREENING)Guillermo Del Toro’s The Devil’s Backbone is one of the finest ghost movies ever made, blowing stuff like The Others out of the water, into the atmosphere, and pulverizing it into dust. And since the trailers for The Orphanage (aka El Orfanato), which Del Toro produced, gave me a Backbone vibe, I had high hopes for the film. Thankfully, they were more or less achieved.This is not a film for impatient viewers. If you need a death or carnage every 5 minutes in order to accept it as a horror movie, not only are you kind of dum

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Ghost,

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Somebody Help Me

DECEMBER 26, 2007GENRE: SLASHER, SURVIVALSOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)A few weeks back, Horror Movie A Day was finally “legitimized” when I was asked if I would like to review Somebody Help Me for the site (all of the DVDs/early screenings I usually write about are for Bloody-Disgusting). So hurrah! I am a real critic now! Or something.Well things aren’t off to the best start. This is not a very good movie, though it does have some merit. I wasn’t expecting much, since the DVD package itself screamed ineptitude. For starters, the aspect ratio was simply listed as “Letterbox”. That is not

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Slasher, Survival,

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Lilith Saintcrow's "Dante Valentine series"

Lilith Saintcrow is the author of five novels in the "Dante Valentine series" as well as other books.If the Dante Valentine series is adapted for the movies, here are Saintcrow's ideas about the principal cast members:Since I'm a very visual writer, I usually do play the game with myself -- "who would I cast in my books?"For the Valentine series, some of it is simple. I would love Fairuza Balk or Rachel Weisz as Dante, since both have that edge of competence. I would also, if I'm dreaming, like Cate Blanchett for the role, since Dante isn't traditionally pretty.For Japhrimel, I would pick Kar

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Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem

DECEMBER 25, 2007GENRE: ALIEN, MONSTERSOURCE: THEATRICAL (REGULAR SCREENING)Going to the movies on Christmas night is a tradition of mine that goes back to when I was 14 (the movie was Street Fighter!!). I can't remember if I went in 1996 (if I did it was Mars Attacks) but every other year is accounted for, and usually the movie is pretty good, and some are among my favorite films of all time (Cast Away and Jackie Brown, for examples). Every now and then though, it's a downright stinker, wrecking Christmas in the process (such as Paycheck). Well this year's movie was Alien vs. Predator: Re

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Alien, Monster,

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Non Canon Review: Gremlins

DECEMBER 24, 2007GENRE: COMEDIC, MONSTERSOURCE: THEATRICAL (REVIVAL SCREENING)Ah, Gremlins. Easily the best “Tiny monster” movie of all time (tied with Gremlins 2 anyway), and it holds up remarkably well. The Arclight in Hollywood showed it tonight as a holiday treat, and though they fucked up (it was supposed to be a 21+ screening, which meant you can drink while you watch, but it wasn’t), it was still a blast to see it on the big screen.Let’s get down to brass tacks: Phoebe Cates’ amazing Santa/Christmas Eve story is possibly the most mean-spirited thing ever said in a PG film more or les

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Comedic, Monster, Non Canon,

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The Eye (2002)

DECEMBER 24, 2007GENRE: ASIAN, GHOSTSOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)Back in March, I was asked to do a set visit for the remake of The Eye (aka Gin Gwai), which will star Jessica Alba. Since an interview with Alba was also included (plus free food!) I was excited to go. Well it sucked, because Alba looked like hell (celebs get acne too, I guess) and the scene we got to see them film was... Alba getting out of a cab in the rain. Exciting!!!Well the remake police better sharpen their clubs (what?), because the original film has not a single scene of the girl getting out of a cab in the rain! Cl

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Asian, Ghost,

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Non Canon Review: Black Xmas (2006)

DECEMBER 23, 2007GENRE: HOLIDAY, REMAKE, SLASHERSOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)You’re goddamn right the source was my own DVD collection! I like Black Xmas, goddammit, and I will defend it to the death! In fact, I even tried picking a fight at last week’s screening of the original by saying, loudly, “Morgan and Wong did it better!”. But no one bit (and for the record, I don’t really feel that way; Clark’s film is better, but Morgan’s is good too), probably because a lot of the haters are likely people who just hate the film without having bothered to watch it and thus don’t know who the filmma

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Holiday, Non Canon, Remake, Slasher,

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Murder Party

DECEMBER 23, 2007GENRE: COMEDIC, INDEPENDENT, SURVIVALSOURCE: DVD (STORE RENTAL)I heard conflicting reports about Murder Party. One friend said I would love it, another declared it one of the worst films he had ever seen. Well, now that I’ve seen it, thanks to Zach's recommendation, I must admit that they are both right. At times the movie is great, and then other times, it is insufferably bad. Overall I’d say I enjoyed it but would never want to watch it again.I think part of the problem is that we have almost an hour of nothing really happening, just a bunch of pretentious art scenester

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Comedic, Independent, Survival,

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Boy Eats Girl

DECEMBER 22, 2007GENRE: COMEDIC, ZOMBIESOURCE: DVD (STORE RENTAL)In an odd way, it's kind of a bummer that Shaun Of The Dead is so damn good, because every "funny zombie" movie that has come along since gets compared to it, and usually unfavorably. In fact, it's almost impossible to find a review of Boy Eats Girl that DOESN'T mention Edgar Wright's film, which must be particularly annoying for the filmmakers.Luckily for them, their film is quite good. In fact the biggest complaint I have about it is that it is too short. Running only 80 minutes with credits, the movie could have used anoth

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Comedic, Zombie,

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You Better Watch Out!

DECEMBER 21, 2007GENRE: HERO KILLER, HOLIDAYSOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)I should have known from the start... You Better Watch Out! (aka Christmas Evil) is a movie that was recommended to me by someone who didn’t like the end of The Mist, and given to me by someone as an apology for losing my “treasured” Halloween: Resurrection DVD. What kind of pedigree is that for a movie? It’s a wonder I managed to even make it until the end.The problem with the film is that it doesn’t go far enough in any direction to be worth a damn. It’s not scary or creepy, like your Black Christmases. It’s not ove

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Hero Killer, Holiday, Independent,

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Atom Age Vampire

DECEMBER 20, 2007GENRE: MAD SCIENTIST, MONSTERSOURCE: DVD (BUDGET PACK 2!!!)Maybe it’s because I was so happy to watch a budget pack film shot on actual film and with actual actors, or maybe it was all the rumballs I ate while watching it, but I really enjoyed Atom Age Vampire (aka Seddok, l'erede di Satana), despite the lack of vampires and a fast pace. Hell, it was even letterboxed (sort of), the only film across any of my three Mill Creek sets that wasn’t entirely full frame (so far). As this is an Italian film, some things are a given. There will be bad dubbing. There will be nonsensi

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Horror Classics, Mad Scientist, Monster,

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Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2

DECEMBER 19, 2007GENRE: HOLIDAY, SLASHERSOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)You know, for years I bought into the belief that more than half of Silent Night Deadly Night Part 2 was recycled footage from the first film. Having only seen the film once, nearly 20 years ago, I couldn’t remember much other than it DID indeed have lots of “flashbacks”. Well, now that I’ve seen the film again, I can safely say “Fuck you” to them. For starters, the last bit of recycled footage ends before this film even REACHES its halfway point, and up until that point there is plenty of new footage mixed in with the old

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Holiday, Slasher,

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Patricia Gussin's "Twisted Justice"

Patricia Gussin is the author of Shadow of Death, which was nominated for Best First Novel in the Thriller Awards sponsored by International Thriller Writers, and the recently released Twisted Justice.Here she develops some ideas for actors and director should Twisted Justice be adapted for the movies:The heart wrenching drama of Kramer vs. Kramer and the violent scenario of The War of the Roses bracket the domestic deception and betrayal that explode onto the scene in Twisted Justice. No one ever really knows what goes on in another’s marriage and in Twisted Justice what appears on the sur

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