13: Games Of Death (2006)

APRIL 3, 2008

GENRE: ASIAN, COMIC BOOK, THRILLER
SOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)

The central concept of 13: Games Of Death (aka 13 Game Sayawng) is a fantastic one (a guy is unwittingly placed in a game show that has him carry out thirteen tasks for an increasing amount of money; if he loses one or quits he gets absolutely nothing). It's a fantastic "what would I do if this happened to me?" concept (a sentiment shared by HMAD reader Chris, who recommended I watch it). But there are a couple big problems that keep it from being a fantastic movie as well, and instead it’s just “pretty good”.

One such problem is the length. It’s just shy of two hours, but the film tries to wring suspense out of whether or not he will do a task as they get more and more morally questionable. We know damn well he will get to the final task, so don’t delay us getting there! Luckily, two or three of the tasks are sort of glossed over (number 12 is one, and it seems to be backtracking: after having him unknowingly wipe out an entire group of bike riders, 12 is apparently “Eat some cow intestine”?) which keeps the film from being OVER two hours, but still, maybe just weeding it down to ten tasks would have helped.

Another problem is a plot hole that is impossible to ignore. He is playing this game and everyone around him seems baffled by his actions. But the game seems to be quite popular as well. Wouldn’t some of these folks know that he was playing? And with all of the cameras around, wouldn’t THOSE be noticeable by the bystanders (not to mention the police who just assume he’s a criminal)? It’d be like trying to sell Truman Show without putting his entire world in a dome first.

Still, it’s an engaging thriller, and the lead guy (Krissada Terrence) is an unconventional hero, which is a nice plus. The movie does a good job of establishing his desperation (financial and personal) rather quickly, so that when he begins the game, we can easily buy that he will go along with it, despite the fact that we don’t really know TOO much about him. There’s also a fantastic (if never quite explained) opening scene with a kid, an old lady in the road, and a bus. You do the math! And the aforementioned bike rider scene rivals the opening of Ghost Ship in sheer “Holy fuck!”ity.

This is based on a comic book I have never heard of, and some of the later developments in the film (particularly the “reveal” of the villain) probably work a lot better in a fleshed out comic than in a film. If it’s in English maybe I’ll check it out. Speaking of, I watched some of the movie in English because reading subs puts me to sleep and I was already a bit tired. The dubbing was strange – in an attempt to match the mouths of the real actors, the dubbers speak in. An. Oddly stilt. Ed man. Ner, rather than try to sound natural. It’s kind of amusing, but after a few minutes I promptly switched it back to the Thai language. And dozed off for a few minutes.

This one comes courtesy of Dimension Extreme, which, after a VERY bad start (Buried Alive and Broken... Christ.) has become a fairly and surprisingly dependable source of good movies (with the best, Inside, yet to come!). It’s kind of ironic that the studio once synonymous with horrible, “filmmaking by committee” garbage has become one of the few bright spots for modern horror releases. Then again, it should be noted that not a single one of these films were made under the watchful knife, er, eye, of the Weinstein brothers.

Also I should note that the horror elements are rather light, and one should CERTAINLY not pay any attention to the blurb on the back written by some broad from Hollywood Reporter who boasts about it being a "Supernatural thriller!". There is absolutely NOTHING supernatural in this film at all. Moron.

What say you?

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Asian, Comic Book, Thriller,

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30 Days Of Night

OCTOBER 16, 2007

GENRE: COMIC BOOK, SURVIVAL, VAMPIRE

SOURCE: THEATRICAL (PREMIERE)

I still recall reading the original graphic novel for 30 Days of Night a few years back, waiting for my window to be replaced (someone stole my stereo). As it was nearing its conclusion (I read it all in one sitting – fucking window repair guys were slow as shit!), I remember thinking how relatively low-key Steve Niles’ story was; other than the basic idea of setting a vampire siege in a town that would be plunged in darkness for a month, there was nothing particularly complicated about it. Not a bad thing per se, but something that surprised me a bit. However, Ben Templesmith’s artwork was phenomenal; providing me more than enough to keep me turning the pages.

So in that regard, the film version is possibly the most faithful comic adaptation of all time. On a strictly visual level, this is one of the greatest horror movies ever made. There isn’t a shot in the film that you wouldn’t want to pause and admire. WETA’s effects are as amazing as always, and the darkness mixed with constant snow makes for a truly amazing setting. But the script doesn't live up to the visuals, in addition to making some weird changes, they condense the comics' play by play, causing some damage to the sense of dread and suspense that the source had.

The idea of time passing is definitely a problem. Granted the lack of having a sunset/rise to show a new day is a tricky obstacle, but over the course of 30 days, our characters barely grow facial hair or seem to get really tired/hungry, nor do they suffer from cabin fever (or whatever you call it when you wear the same clothes and not shower for a month). A few title cards show us that the film shows us about 5 different days during the month, but without them, you would probably just assume it all took place in one or two nights. At one point they skip 10 days’ time, and yet the characters are all pretty much in the same spot they were before. What did they do during this time? How can you read or talk or do anything to pass the time when you’re supposedly in danger? Those are vastly more interesting ideas than what we get to see instead. And their occasional “we got to find somewhere safer” decisions are almost entirely without any real urgency – it seems they are only moving for the sake of an audience wanting some action. They say they need food, but the film doesn’t bother showing anyone eating, or fighting over the last candy bar or whatever. For a film that relies so heavily on its visuals, you would think they could include things like this in order to sell the ideas. As it stands, it just makes the characters seem kind of stupid.

There are some great setpieces though – particularly an attack on the SUV that Josh Hartnett and Melissa George are driving through the snow (a scene not in the book). Another new, fun sequence finds Mark Boone Junior (playing a nice character for the first time I can ever recall) driving his tractor around the town, chopping up vampires with some sort of drill. And David Slade stages a fantastic image/scene, an overhead shot of the town showing vampires running amok, devouring Barrow’s residents. Again, the film never stops being a visual feast, but I just wish there was more urgency to the proceedings. Slade and the writers have called this part “survival horror” – but at no time do I feel that the characters are in any real danger of freezing to death, starvation, etc.

Back to the book, several changes were made to the story, and for the most part, not for the better. For example, Eben and Stella, lovey dovey in the book, are separated (for reasons never explained) here, yet so little is done with it, you gotta wonder why they bothered making the change at all, as it even blunts the emotional impact of the truly great ending (which it DOES retain from the source material). And maybe I just missed it, but one of the few unique ideas in the book was that vampires couldn’t smell in the cold, which is how the humans were able to evade them; a plot point not utilized here. Also, the vampires no longer speak English; instead they (well, HE, as only one of them speaks) converse in a made up, extremely silly sounding language, and their standard bad guy dialogue from the novel is replaced with even worse nonsense that sounds like bad gothic poetry (“God? NO GOD!” is a particular howler). Obviously, no book to film adaptation will retain everything, but some of these decisions just don’t really work for me.

One wise decision, however, was to eliminate the subplot of a New Orleans woman who was tracking the vampires down, for it really broke the pace of the book. Some of this material was actually folded into a short film called 30 Days Of Night: Blood Trails (directed by Haunted Hill 2’s Victor Garcia) that aired on Fearnet to promote the feature film, though it’s nothing particularly special (it feels very cheap and the chainsaw editing is atrocious at times). There’s also more characterization for the other survivors (though seemingly at the expense of characterizing the vampires themselves), which is good, as you’ll actually care about a few of them, unlike the novel which pretty much just focused on Eben and Stella.

So I guess it comes down to what’s more important to you – visuals or story. A few more drafts (or is that less?) of the script could have resulted in the year’s best horror movie by far. As it stands, it’s a fairly straight horror story elevated immensely by some truly remarkable cinematography and action. Hopefully, my somewhat disappointed opinion will be in the minority; a big hit could mean other filmmakers as gifted as Slade will come on board a horror project that has a script I could really get behind (such as a Cal McDonald movie – Steve Niles’ greatest creation by far).

What say you?

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Comic Book, Survival, Vampire,

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The Dead One

SEPTEMBER 25, 2007

GENRE: COMIC BOOK, CRAP, SUPERNATURAL
SOURCE: DVD (STORE RENTAL)

About an hour or so into The Dead One, my cat shit all over the rug. He’s usually good and uses his box, but every now and then he likes to poop in this one spot in the corner of the dining room. Usually this will result in me yelling at him. But this movie was so goddamn boring I actually thanked him, for it was a welcome distraction.

That should be my quote for the DVD box: “I’d rather clean cat shit off the rug than watch this goddamn movie.”

That 70’s Show was a perfectly enjoyable little sitcom, despite the fact that its title was wrong after 3 of its 7 seasons. But the cast hasn’t had the best of luck when it comes to feature films, with only Topher Grace showing any promise. And yet, Wilmer Valderrama manages to make his fellow castmates’ films (which include such "gems" as American Psycho 2 and Just Married) look positively Citizen Kaneian in comparison (no surprise, he was the weakest point on the show as well) with this snoozefest. I’m not sure why anyone thought we would need a Crow ripoff (with a lot of Crow 4 as well, for some goddamn reason) starring the mushmouthed guy from a sitcom, but hey, what do I know.

Part of the problem with this astoundingly lackluster film is its stubborn refusal to include anything that would be considered excitement or action (not a real surprise, as it’s rated PG-13 on the DVD case, and simply PG on the disc itself). Granted, there needs to be a lot of exposition and origin stuff, but that only takes up 1/3 of the running time. So with only about 10 minutes’ worth of action (mostly someone seeing Wilmer, who is thought dead, and then he runs away), what else is there? Well, lots and lots of scenes of Wilmer propped up against a tree, sleeping; many reflective surfaces suddenly covered in cracking patterns; and poor Joel David Moore (from Hatchet – way to appear in both one of the best and one of the worst horror movies in a single year dude) explaining how to use Nextel.

The weirdest thing about the movie is that the font would suggest a goofy and fun film:

And yet it is all taken deadly serious. Even Moore, who was able to wring some laughs out of some of the lesser lines in Hatchet, is relegated to spouting out Aztec myths and debating religions. Guys: you’re making a movie about a guy who comes back from the dead, permanently covered in “Day of the Dead” makeup and causing it to rain wherever he goes. Lighten the fuck up!

Those of you who have seen Imprint would probably know that Billy Drago is totally batshit insane, so it might be refreshing to see him relatively subdued here, playing a comatose woman who spends the finale of the film running around in a dress speaking in tongues. And if you think that is subdued, then you clearly haven’t seen Imprint. Also on board is Alfonso Arau (“It’s a sweater!”) given an opening credit for simply doing some of the ghost voices sprinkled throughout the film.

Christ, even the extra feature titled “Fun on the set!” is mind-numbingly boring, as we watch things like Wilmer sing Benny and the Jets for no reason before a take. Wow! At least here Joel Moore tries to provide some energy to the proceedings, but it’s of no use – the fun has been sucked out of the movie long ago, taking its useless extras down with it.

What say you?

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Comic Book, Crap, Supernatural,

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