Psycho II (1983)

JUNE 7, 2008

GENRE: HERO KILLER (?), PSYCHOLOGICAL, REVENGE
SOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)

I recently picked up the collection of Psycho sequels, and when I opened it I discovered that while III and IV had to share one disc (one side in fact), Psycho II got one all to itself. Having never seen any of them in their entirety (only edited TV broadcasts when I was 15 – and I don’t think I watched III all the way through either), I can’t vouch for this being a sign of their quality, but I do know that II is a damn fine followup, and nowhere near the disaster that it could have been.

For starters, Tom Holland’s screenplay (which is entirely unrelated to the sequel novel written by original author Robert Bloch) is great in that it managed to find a way to present another mystery angle without betraying or rewriting the original film (unlike say, Scream 3, which apart from being fucking terrible, changed the reasoning for the actions of the first film’s killers). Sure, the final scene may be a bit on that side, but it’s not like they came out and said that the woman who Norman killed wasn’t the one who had raised him, or that he killed someone else entirely.

The only flaw in the mystery is that it is spoiled relatively early in the movie for those who know the first film well. Norman’s new friend introduces herself as Mary Samuels, which is the same name that Marion used when she checked into the motel. It’s OK to assume that Norman has forgotten the “coincidence”, since he has been locked up for 20 years and probably has other stuff on his mind (his penchant for sandwiches, for example), but to an audience it’s pretty much a dead giveaway.

However, I must point out what my buddy Rob (a true Psycho expert if there ever was one) pointed out to me – in 1983 the home video market hadn’t really taken off, so apart from TV broadcasts of the film (at least one of which was canceled at the last minute due to a real life tragedy), Psycho hadn’t been seen for years, and thus the majority of the audience probably had forgotten as well. I keep having the idea for Bloody Disgusting where we’d have a page with movie news that would have been posted if the internet was around in the early 80s, this would be something worth posting: “I just read the script for Psycho II and it turns out that the girl Meg Tilly plays in the movie is the niece of Marion Crane! Also, the guy who was a deputy in the first film is now the town sheriff. If you use this, call me BatesFan23.”

Minor nerdy issues aside, it’s simply a well done, respectable sequel. It would have been easy to simply have Norman escape and kill some folks, but Holland and director Richard Franklin went the classier route, with Lila Crane (now Loomis –she married her sister’s boyfriend! Nice.) trying to drive Norman crazy so she can get him locked up again, and Norman struggling to keep his sanity. Sure, the body count is a bit higher, and there is actual on screen violence (including a particularly nasty death in the famous basement), but compared to the other horror films of the period, it’s practically G rated in that regard.

It’s also got more Perkins, which is fine. Of course, he doesn’t show up until about a half hour into the first film, and Lila and Sam’s investigation eats up some screen time as well. But here he’s pretty much in every scene, and is terrific both as “sane” Norman (his incredibly awkward conversations with Tilly are a particular highlight) and “nutty” Norman, who becomes convinced his mother really is alive. And if you thought he was pretty nice in the first, he’s downright sympathetic here. Even when he starts to crack, you still root for the guy to pull through and be OK.

Tilly is also a delight. Mainly because she is ridiculously cute, but she also has a bit more personality than Marion got to display (again, she also has more screen time, for obvious reasons), and it’s nice to see her actually develop a bit of a kinship with Norman. The rest of the cast is good as well; it’s funny to see Dennis Franz in one of his earliest roles as a total scumbag (as opposed to the more lovable plain ol' jerks he plays in stuff like Die Hard 2).

I also love how isolated Fairview is. We know the motel is off the main road or whatever, but the diner Norman works at for about 8 minutes also appears to be in the middle of nowhere (who the hell would go there?). “Downtown” is mentioned though not really seen, but you got to imagine that there’s a perfectly good diner in the middle of the alleged civilized part of town.

Franklin also stages some terrific scenes. There’s a bit where “Mary” is arguing with Lila, and a maid with a vacuum drowns out what they are saying, to the dismay of a nosy hotel clerk who is trying to listen to what they are saying. And Franklin also makes good use of shadow and silhouette; there’s a spooky scene where Norman confronts Mary, who is seen only in silhouette, and thus keeping us on edge. The numerous scenes of people looking through the hole in the bathroom wall are also unnerving, especially since it’s never really made clear who is looking in when (there are like 4 killers in the film, ultimately).

Compared to the first sequels of other great horror films (Halloween II, Nightmare on Elm St 2, Cube 2: Hypercube), it’s in a class of its own. You can’t really top Hitchcock, but to keep the spirit of his film intact while making it your own is something I doubt many could accomplish. Kudos to those involved for pulling it off.

What say you?

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Hero Killer, Psychological, Revenge,

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Blood Diner (1987)

APRIL 8, 2008

GENRE: COMEDIC, HERO KILLER, WEIRD
SOURCE: THEATRICAL (REVIVAL SCREENING)

Have I ever explained the strange law of the universe that dictates that whenever I work the night shift (I alternate my work schedule – one week I start at 930 am and leave at 6, the next I start at 1 pm and leave whenever everything’s done, usually round 7:30) on a night that I have something to do, I will get out late? However, if I have zero plans or opportunities, I will be out even earlier than average. It never fails. I’ve even tested it, buying tickets for a 10 o clock movie and watching as my twelve bucks got wasted as I sat in my office until close to 11, a record “late” night at the time. So my chances for seeing Blood Diner were pretty slim, as it was the first of the double feature at the New Beverly tonight.

And, true to form, I got out of work around 8:30, an hour later than usual for a Tuesday night. So I raced down to the Bev, hoping to get there in time to find parking, buy some “refreshments”, and enter in time for the start of Scream Bloody Murder, which was supposed to start around 9:30. But I had a sneaking suspicion that the movie started late, so I went to the box office before I bought beer, and discovered that Diner had only started about 10 minutes prior (due to the raffle, guest introduction, usual 20 minute delay due to the long concession line, and 15 minutes of trailers). Hurrah!

Sadly as it was dark I couldn’t find any friends, so I had to sit alone and experience this masterpiece of gloriously batshit cinema. It would pair nicely with Pieces (both movies even involve a human jigsaw puzzle!), as it’s just so ridiculous, so strangely plotted, and so damn delightful that it could only be appreciated with a big crowd. The plot finds a pair of brothers looking to appease their uncle, a talking brain with googly eyes*, by serving up human food to their diner patrons, while constructing a reincarnation of the goddess Sheetar. Nazi wrestlers, a nude aerobics class, rival diner owners, and a ventriloquist hobo also fit into the plot.

The strange thing about it was that it was eventually exhausting. I noticed that even the New Bev crowd began growing silent as it went on, with the laughs coming less frequently and not lasting as long. The finale picked up a bit, but it was a bit odd to “hear” silence for a couple minutes at a time once the film passed the halfway mark.

The funniest thing about the movie is what little concern the non-killer characters displayed for the horrible violent acts going on around them. At one point the brothers try to enter a club and the bouncer gives them a hard time. So they toss him out into the street, where he is immediately killed by a passing car. No one seems to care much. It’s breathtaking. There’s also a lot of random background stuff, such as a scene where three cops walk down a hall discussing the case. In the background, there is a scuffle between a prisoner and a few guards, which no one else seems to notice. Then again, the foreground has its own violence, as the police chief guy suddenly decks the hero cop for making a crazy suggestion (which probably turned out to be true).

How can you not love this movie?

Even weirder, it’s directed by a woman (Jackie Kong)! Almost every female character in the movie is needlessly punched or slapped around, so this little factoid, which I learned after the movie, is pretty surprising. Also, it makes Slumber Party Massacre (also surprisingly female-helmed) another fine choice for a double feature with Diner.

I had never heard of this one before it was announced for a screening at the Bev (apparently it's a quasi-remake of Blood Feast, which I haven't seen either), so I thank them again for letting me discover it. And Scream Bloody Murder was just as delightful as it was when I first saw it, though the laughter of the crowd resulted in my beloved “Who ever bought you a steak before?” line being completely drowned out. I should point out that the laughter was from an earlier line in the film, and NOT the annoying woman sitting near the front who kept MST3king the movie. The occasional comment is fine (preferably if it’s actually funny), but for the most part, these movies are funny enough on their own. We don’t need would-be Tom Servos borderline ruining it for everyone else. And the thing is, no one laughed at a single thing she said! Other occasional comments from other folks in the crowd were met with a small smattering of laughter, but hers fell flat every single time. You’d think after a few duds that she would realize that the rest of the crowd didn’t “appreciate” her genius and shut the fuck up, but no. She just kept saying random things that barely even made sense half the time. Luckily, one of the guys who run the Grindhouse told her to shut her pie hole after a while. Thanks pal!

What say you?

*They were actually regular eyes, not googly eyes, but the amazing SNL sketch with Christopher Walken was still fresh in my head, so everytime they showed the damn thing I had flashbacks and laughed my ass off. “Eye contact is important!”

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Comedic, Hero Killer, Weird,

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Carrie (1976)

FEBRUARY 23, 2008

GENRE: HERO KILLER, SUPERNATURAL

SOURCE: THEATRICAL (REVIVAL SCREENING)

For some reason, even though I've never seen the sequel to Carrie, I always think of it whenever I see a veterinarian office. This is because my friend called me after he saw it (I had better things to do I guess), laughing about how the movie featured a 24 hr veterinarian place. He thought it was funny, but I think it's pretty awesome! If one of my cats eats a damn nail and begins choking or bleeding at 2 am, I would like to think that I didn't have to wait 6 hrs to get him looked at.

Anyway, that has nothing to do with the first film, which doesn't even HAVE pets of any kind. I saw the film once, when I was like 16 or 17, and on TV to boot. I remember not being particularly impressed by it, though that opinion has changed. I still think it's a bit oddly structured (I've never read the book, so I'm not sure if it plays better in written form, or if it's even the same), but I can't deny that it's a solid piece of filmmaking from one of the best technically inclined directors (Brian DePalma) of all time. Back in the 70s and early 80s, DePalma was in his prime, so Carrie benefits quite a bit from his standard "gimmicks" - the long unbroken shots, use of bifocal lenses, and of course, the split screen sequence. Not to say that the film wouldn't work without them, but even if you're sort of blasé on the story, you can still admire the craft (something probably not likely with Carrie 2).

The cast in this one is pretty impressive. Most of them were no names at the time, but it's great to see future stars (or at least, 80s icons) like John Travolta, PJ Soles, Nancy Allen, Amy Irving, and William Katt all in one movie. Also, the only friend Carrie has is named Collins! Yeah! Collins is a common name in real life, but not often used in films for whatever reason. Also, Pino Donaggio's score is fan-fucking-tastic (not a big surprise), and even though I knew it was coming (thanks to myriad "50 best scary moments" type TV specials, that final scare is STILL capable of providing a bit of a jolt.

The effects are minimal, but impressive (and more importantly - believable). One thing I liked about the movie (again, not sure if this is the case in the book) is that it spares us from scenes of Carrie moving shit around for no reason. The idea that it's almost out of her control entirely is much more interesting. Incidentally, the movie screened with Zapped, an 80s comedy with Scott Baio as a kid with telekinesis. That film DID suffer due to such superfluous scenes, and ironically kind of made Baio less sympathetic than Carrie. Carrie couldn't really help freaking out and breaking mirrors and shit when people insulted her, but Baio used his own free will to terrorize a total stranger (who wasn't bothering him) with a model airplane. Asshole.

The print was quite nice too, though the sound was a bit muffled. DePalma's films deserve big screen (and more importantly, widescreen) viewing, so even though it's not exactly my favorite film of the subgenre or the King adaptations, I loved seeing it "again" in this manner. There's another week to go of the Eli Roth festival, and I for one couldn't be more... well, broke. But also sad, it's been a great lineup so far. Luckily the New Bev shows good stuff more than just once or twice a month, so Roth or not I'm sure I'll be back there enough until the next festival comes along.

What say you?

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Based On Novel, Hero Killer, Supernatural,

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Roman (2006)

FEBRUARY 12, 2008

GENRE: HERO KILLER, INDEPENDENT
SOURCE: DVD (ONLINE RENTAL)

Instead of reading this review, you should go see Spiral, or pre-order the DVD here (it’s only playing in a few cities). You see, Roman is a very similar movie in concept, but on the polar opposite end of the spectrum in execution. Because, while both films are “slow”, Spiral is pretty damn good, and this movie bored the shit out of me, and didn’t look very good either. And it didn’t have Chuck.

Like Spiral, Roman is about a creepy guy who inexplicably draws the attraction of a really hot, spunky girl who might have some mental issues. Unfortunately, the film never once feels like anything but a decent short film that someone decided should be stretched into a feature. So this means we get about 6 scenes of Roman being mocked by his co-workers, 15 scenes of him looking out the window, some 4569766 of him making pork n beans, etc. It’s one thing to draw tension and develop character, but when that character is doing the same thing over and over, it’s not really progressing anything except the audience’s boredom.

Plus, unlike Spiral, there is no mystery as to whether or not Roman is a killer. So I don’t really like him right from the start. Kind of a problem when he’s pretty much the only character in the movie they bother to develop. After he kills a girl (Kristen Bell) early on, another one comes along. She is also annoying, because she’s a hippie who puts twigs and leaves in her hair and makes Roman take her to performance art. Bell wasn’t too bad, but this broad I actually wanted him to kill, so naturally he doesn’t do that. Thanks, movie.

This movie was also shot on DV, so it’s far from enjoyable from an aesthetic point of view either. And what’s with DV filmmakers always having people look into camera and/or shooting entire scenes from one angle? You have unlimited and cheap stock in which to make your film – why not experiment a bit with different angles and such? Director Angela Bettis could have shot this the exact same way on film on a low budget for sure. The commentary doesn’t explain why they used DV, or at least, it didn’t in the time I spent listening to it, which admittedly wasn’t long since it was generally boring “trivia” like “That’s Eddie Steeples, you might know him from the Staples commercial.”

So there’s really not a lot to recommend here. The acting is good, and the end has a nice little twist involving the hippie character’s “art installation”, but that’s not really enough to make up for the snail’s pace, excessive padding, and generally lazy videomaking. I really dug May (which was also written by Lucky McKee), so I was hoping this one would be at least almost as good, but no such luck. If nothing else, it proves that Bettis should star and Lucky should direct (as they did in May), not the other way around.

What say you?

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Hero Killer, Independent,

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Freaky Farley

JANUARY 30, 2008

GENRE: COMEDIC, HERO KILLER, INDEPENDENT
SOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)

Every now and then I watch a movie for Horror Movie A Day that, sadly, sort of defeats the purpose. An independent film with no formal release severely limits the number of readers who may have seen it, and thus have no way of talking about it afterwards. But I like to mix it up as well, hence why I decided to give Freaky Farley a look (one of the filmmakers contacted me directly asking if I’d like to do a review). So it sort of goes without saying that there’s a good chance I will spoil the movie – read at your own risk! (Note - the film is available to buy here)

What attracted me to the film was the filmmaker’s (and the DVD box art’s) claim that the film was inspired by Silent Night Deadly Night Part 2. I was pretty convinced that no one besides me would ever admit to such a wretched film being any sort of inspiration to them, so I felt a kinship with these folks. And the inspiration is evident early on – the first line Farley speaks is the same as the first one Ricky has in that film (“Are you married?”). In fact this entire scene plays out I think pretty much the same as one in SNDN2. Later, the imfamous “Garbage Day!” scene is homaged as well. Sweet!

The whole movie is a little odd, come to think of it. Our characters include ninjas and a guy who calls himself “Air Force Ricky”; our “hero” only wears black and white striped shirts (even his wifebeater has the same pattern), which suggests Jason Bateman as the Hamburglar; his dad makes him dig a hole and then refill it every day it seems; an old lady attempts to nail Farley in a motel, and a hobo goes on and on about “troggs” in the woods, and unsurprisingly, he’s not crazy. This sort of batshit storytelling and kitchen-sink attitude is always endearing to me, even more so when it’s an independent production (they’d probably have an easier time finding distribution if the movie was an easier sell – so kudos for not ‘selling out’!).

On the flipside, the acting in the film is pretty much across the board bad. And not campy bad either. Folks (particularly the mayor guy) stumble over simple lines, no one ever seems to pause in between ideas (or even each other’s dialogue – so if someone asks a question the response comes before the person would reasonably have time to think of an answer), etc. It’s really odd. With an indie you’re bound to have a few weak links, but here it’s pretty universal (Farley and the girl playing his would-be girlfriend are pretty good, however). Hilariously, my wife came into the room halfway through, not knowing what I was watching (at that point, neither was I – see below), and asked if the characters were retarded. Then again, I can't even play myself properly and know perfectly well that when you want to make a movie yourself you often have to fill roles with less than satisfactory "actors" (see: my short film, which I won't let you see), so it's easily forgivable. Like I said before, when I can tell that the people making the film have a genuine care about filmmaking and aren't just out to make a quick buck, I am more than willing to forgive a few faults.

The other thing about the film is that it moves rather slowly. Our first kill comes at the 55 minute mark. Other than the fact that Farley is telling the story from an institution, there is nothing “horror” about the film at all for until this point. Everyone in the town makes fun of Farley for being weird (or, to be exact, a “freak”), but it’s sort of unclear why, since he doesn’t really do anything strange as far as I can tell.

Still, I can’t help but kind of love a movie with a line of dialogue like “Children shouldn’t have to be frightened of mysterious deaths in the woods.” A little more rehearsal from the actors and a tightened first hour could have improved things greatly. As it stands, it’s an endearing little curio that I enjoyed watching for the most part, but probably won’t be for everyone.

And kudos to the filmmakers for using 16mm film! It fit the tone perfectly and kept the film watchable (had this been on DV I probably would have given up after 20 minutes or so) since it looks pretty good for the most part. There's an odd quality to 16mm that, despite maybe not looking as "good" as 35 mm, gives its films a feel that can't be reproduced with DV no matter what kind of filters you throw on it. Then again, as a film student from New England, I have an affinity for seeing 16mm footage of foliage and other NE-centric imagery. Takes me back...

What say you?

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Comedic, Hero Killer, Independent,

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Spontaneous Combustion

JANUARY 2, 2008

GENRE: HERO KILLER, MAD SCIENTIST
SOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)

Leave it to Tobe Hooper to make a movie about people suddenly bursting into flames boring, but that’s exactly what he did with Spontaneous Combustion, a film which STARS Brad Dourif (there’s a very VERY small number of films that can bear that claim) and yet doesn’t give him anything fun to do until the film’s finale, during which he’s covered in makeup anyway.

I think this movie features the longest prologue in cinema history. It’s a full 22 minutes long, for a 95 minute movie. It also features Brian Bremer, who has to be the worst actor I have ever seen in a theatrically released film. No wonder the only other thing I remember him being in was Silent Night Deadly Night 5, where he played the Pinocchio thing. A block of wood is about the best this guy can hope for. The chick playing his Jackie O-ish wife is a bit better, and a quick check of IMDb confirmed that she was indeed Evan’s mom in Superbad. That thankless role, which largely revolved around her glorious rack, is still probably more appealing to her ego than this goddamn thing.

Jackie's Strength, indeed.

But back to the main problem with the film: it’s fucking boring as hell. Dourif gets mad at someone and he goes “NRRRRR!” and badly animated flames fly out of whatever’s nearby and the person dies. OR he has a mild disagreement with someone and they die later on. For a “hero”, he kills a lot of people who doesn’t deserve to die, including a couple of cops. At one point he kills John Landis (what the hell is HE doing in this?) simply for not connecting his phone call. So we don’t root for him, should we root for his girlfriend? She seems nice. Oh wait, she’s involved in the conspiracy too. As is his ex-wife (doesn’t this guy date outside the whole nuclear government program circle?). So a bunch of not very interesting people are also all evil. Great.

It's also bafflingly written, and not in an amusing way. At one point, Dourif calls a psychic, and becomes amazed when he himself reveals his mother's name (rendering the psychic rather inconsequential). "How would I know that?" Dourif exclaims. Maybe because it's your mother, asshole, and at some point in the 35 years prior, you took the time to learn it??? There's also another scene where we can clearly hear a heated argument in the background, much more interesting than the main scene, but the film never elaborates on it. Also, the finale features THREE people shooting flames at each other, before one of them dies, one of them loses her powers, and another falls into a blue circle that appears in the ground. Whatever, movie.

The thing is, reading all that you might think that the movie was awesome. But it’s not, at all. It’s repetitive, needlessly overplotted, and ultimately pointless. Even Hooper’s The Mangler offered some ridiculous thrills and decent gore... this has nothing other than Dourif impersonating Bill Paxton at the end of Near Dark:

Now I know why this movie (one of NINE films released in 1990 in which Dourif appeared) was only released in 50 theaters. In fact I’m amazed it didn’t just go direct to video; Hooper’s Toolbox Murders remake was far superior in every way and that didn’t play theatrically. I can’t imagine watching this in a theater, since it’s of the same quality (in both technical and creative terms) as a Sci-Fi original. Even Firestarter 2, which WAS a Sci-Fi original (or at least, premiered as one) was more worthy of a theatrical run.

What say you?

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Hero Killer, Mad Scientist,

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You Better Watch Out!

DECEMBER 21, 2007

GENRE: HERO KILLER, HOLIDAY
SOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)

I should have known from the start... You Better Watch Out! (aka Christmas Evil) is a movie that was recommended to me by someone who didn’t like the end of The Mist, and given to me by someone as an apology for losing my “treasured” Halloween: Resurrection DVD. What kind of pedigree is that for a movie? It’s a wonder I managed to even make it until the end.

The problem with the film is that it doesn’t go far enough in any direction to be worth a damn. It’s not scary or creepy, like your Black Christmases. It’s not overly mean-spirited, like Silent Night, Deadly Night. And it’s not particularly funny, like Black Xmas (or really, any of the other films mentioned). It’s just sort of there. There are attempts to go in these directions, but they are very half-assed, and it’s only in the film’s final 20 minutes that it shows any signs of life (and even then the film is hit or miss). In fact, according to the director, it’s supposed to just be a sort of off-kilter character study (hence the slow pace) about a guy’s mental deterioration, but even as that it doesn’t work, because all of the other elements, light as they are, distract away from this idea. It’s 4 different types of movies in one, and none really deliver.

Like The Burning, nothing much happens for the first hour, and then we get 4 kills at once. But UNLIKE The Burning, the sequence isn’t particularly good, nor does it offer any inventive gore or makeup work. It only sticks out because it’s pretty much the first time in the film that something has fucking happened.

There are a couple of future stars here though. Most famous is Patricia Richardson as the mother of a kid who’s deemed naughty for having poor hygiene and looking at a spank mag (but NOT actually pleasuring himself – which any other writer/director of a Killer Santa movie would surely have done). But also, Raymond J. Barry (who appears in The Ref, a much better “anti-Christmas” movie) shows up as a cop, and Darabont regular Jeffrey DeMunn plays the killer’s brother. So there’s something.

Also this guy. He’s a newscaster, but he looks like a sleazy pimp. And he comes across as sinister. As hilarious as this is, it’s yet another one of the film’s problems – the killer Santa Claus is never as frightening as the creepy Guido that’s merely discussing his crimes. And since almost nothing in the movie is particularly funny either (if anything, it’s sort of sad, since the guy is clearly a bit disturbed and lonely), it succeeds at neither horror or comedy.

But it has its fans, and the DVD (a director’s cut) has a nice collection of extras, including an entertaining commentary by John Waters (I wish he was solo, the director keeps interjecting things that aren’t funny), making it an easy recommend if you like the film (and props for making the deleted scenes anamorphic, something even big budget studio movies don’t often bother to provide). In fact, the most entertainment I got out of the disc was the collection of comment cards from a test audience. Most are negative, unsurprisingly, and many females indicate they want to meet Harry. Whores.

Incidentally, when I bought the original budget pack (Chilling Classics), the description of the set that I read online had this film included, but it was replaced (with what I’m not certain, I figured it out once but have since forgotten), likely due to the rights being bought by another company (in this case, Synapse). So if you have that pressing of the Chilling Classics, you got a good deal: this movie is worth just about 40 cents, and not much more.

What say you?

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Hero Killer, Holiday, Independent,

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It Is Fine. Everything Is Fine!

DECEMBER 8, 2007

GENRE: HERO KILLER, INDEPENDENT, PSYCHOLOGICAL, WEIRD
SOURCE: THEATRICAL (EVENT SCREENING)

Uh... um... the uh... yeah.

How can one review a film like It Is Fine. Everything Is Fine!? Any film directed by Crispin Glover is bound to be a bit strange, but this makes an average David Lynch film look like the epitome of mass appeal.

The film was written by its star, Steven Stewart, a man who suffered from cerebral palsy (and died from it a month after filming was complete). The fact that he wrote it should dispel any notion that Glover is exploiting him, but I’m sure some folks will still see it that way. Still, it doesn’t make the film any less uncomfortable to watch, especially when, about an hour into the film, we are shown Stewart being given oral pleasure (for real, not fake “head bobbing” style), shortly before he kills the girl by running her neck over with his wheelchair.

Oddly enough, a few years ago I suggested a film in which the villain was an actor who had downs syndrome or some sort of handicap. My feeling was (and still is) that they had just as much potential to be bad as anyone else in the world. The person I was talking to was quite offended by this notion. But she was (and still is) female, so it’s probably OK when Crispin Glover does it.

Glover finances the films (this is the 2nd part of a thematic trilogy, the first of which, What Is It, was finished a year or so ago after nearly a decade of production) with the money he makes from appearing in what he calls “corporate” films such as Charlie’s Angels. Which is pretty awesome, if you ask me (at least he’s honest), but on the flipside, it means that the film is shot in small chunks over a long period of time, without a lot of the resources one would usually have for a film. Unsurprisingly, this results in some technical issues (overly grainy footage, out of focus shots, etc), not to mention some fragmented storytelling (one character, played by Lauren German from Hostel II, disappears about 20 minutes before the end).

And, while it’s not exactly an issue, it should be noted that Stewart is often very difficult to understand and his dialogue is presented without subtitles (everyone in the film understands him perfectly, and usually it’s obvious what the gist of what he’s saying is). Glover, during his endurance test, er, Q&A (which lasted longer than the film itself), explained that putting subtitles would send the wrong message, and I agree. Still, a guy who watches a horror movie every day and eats pasta without sauce isn’t exactly the average person whose opinion you would want on such matters.

Glover has no plans to release these films on DVD; he likes to be in the audience and talk about them with everyone. So if you’re curious, check out his official website and see if he is coming around. The evening also comes with a signing and an hour or so of Glover reading some “books” he wrote, which are slide shows that don’t make any goddamn sense but are still more or less entertaining. If you like something different, you can’t do much better (or worse, depending on your POV) than this.

What say you?

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Hero Killer, Independent, Psychological, Weird,

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Sweeney Todd (2007)

DECEMBER 8, 2007

GENRE: HERO KILLER, MUSICAL
SOURCE: THEATRICAL (PRESS SCREENING)

It’s kind of weird when you think about it: Tim Burton is probably the most high profile director associated with the macabre, and yet only 3 of his films are rated R (and one of them is Ed Wood, which is only R for language). Sweeney Todd is the 3rd (after Wood and Sleepy Hollow), based on the musical that I never saw or probably ever will (sorry, Broadway, but lower your fucking prices! Or at least make the seats more comfortable).

As a film it certainly works better than other filmed versions of stage musicals (in particular Schumacher’s Phantom of the Opera, a film without almost anything that even approaches quality entertainment). The cast, with one exception, feels right at home both in the acting and the singing (Alan Rickman in particular – I listened to the stage version of “Pretty Women” and found the film version to be far superior). Also, the film doesn’t seem to stop cold for a song, which is a problem that plagues other musicals. Not every song is here (“The Ballad of Sweeney Todd” is one lamentable omission; at least, according to the people I have talked to who HAVE seen the musical. Maybe you should read their review instead of mine), and that’s a good thing: they seem like they are more focused on making a good film than making sure everything from the stage version is included.

The one cast member who seems a bit out of place is Sacha Baron Cohen as Pirelli. He’s not BAD, but his character is so cartoonish and loud that he sticks out like a sore thumb next to the rather dry and subdued black humor of the rest of the film. It doesn’t help that the audience I was with laughed every time he was in the shot, regardless of what he was doing. Granted, his presence cements the idea that the film isn’t supposed to be taken too seriously, but it still distracts. I’d rather they came up with a different way to get the purpose of his scenes across (Sweeney making his presence known on Fleet Street) that retained the tone of the rest of the film.

There’s also a very curious cameo by Anthony Stewart Head. Nothing I can find suggests he was ever in the stage version, and he’s not exactly the type of household name actor one would include for a cameo, so it’s very strange. He says one line and is never heard from again, nor is he credited. Whatever.

Like all musicals, some songs are better than others. "Pretty Women" was my favorite, though I also enjoyed "A Little Priest" and "Epiphany". Surprisingly, Burton did not employ frequent collaborator Danny Elfman to conduct the score (in fact this is only the 2nd film of Burton’s in which Elfman did not contribute). Again, having not seen the stage version I don’t know if the instrumental portions are the same in the film or if they are new, but either way I enjoyed them.

Finally, I should note the gore. It’s insane! There’s almost a dozen quite bloody throat slashings in the film, with the red stuff spraying all over the walls, other characters, and camera lens. Of course, the hypocrisy on display is lamentable (why can Tim Burton get away with it in an R rated film but not Adam Green?), but what can you do? Needless to say, any fear I had that the film couldn’t be considered a horror movie were quickly erased.

What say you?

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Hero Killer, Musical, Revenge,

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Phantom Of The Paradise

DECEMBER 2, 2007

GENRE: COMEDIC, HERO KILLER, MUSICAL, WEIRD
SOURCE: THEATRICAL (REVIVAL SCREENING)

For the 2nd time in one technical day, I found myself at the New Beverly Cinema in LA. While Slumber Party Massacre was a midnight movie as part of an unrelated series, tonight began “The Wright Stuff”, a 2 week festival in which Edgar Wright, genius behind Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, would be showing his favorite movies, and bringing surprise guests. Tonight kicked off with a double feature celebrating songwriter Paul Williams. First was Bugsy Malone, which wasn’t horror, so who cares about that (for the record - OK film, great songs). After that was Phantom of the Paradise, an early Brian De Palma film that I had never gotten around to seeing, despite some BC-centric perks (for example, many have said that some of the songs are Steinman-esque, and now, having seen it, I am inclined to agree).

Before I begin rambling about the movie proper, I just want to point out how much you are missing if you don’t go out to your local revival theater, ESPECIALLY if you happen to be an LA resident and thus your revival theater is in fact, the New Beverly. Because, over the course of 3-4 hrs, I saw:

• Scott Caan try, unsuccessfully, to start his motorcycle. It took him a good 5 minutes' worth of attempts to get it going.
• Quentin Tarantino sang a song from Ishtar (a “secret” 3rd film that I was too tired to wait around for)
• A mini-Grindhouse reunion of sorts, as not only were Edgar and Quentin there, but Eli Roth showed up and ate one of my friend’s cookies (I assume that he had other reasons for being there, but they were good cookies so I dunno).
• Mary Elizabeth Winstead (also from Grindhouse!). She didn’t do anything interesting, but have you seen her? She’s hot.
• The guy who plays Superman in front of the Mann’s theaters (LA folk will know the one) WITHOUT his Superman costume on! He had it with him, of course, but he was wearing something else.
• The Hudson Hawk trailer (before Ishtar - I am sure you can figure out the connection)!

Also, because he’s a bit absent-minded, my friends and I ended up paying for Edgar Wright’s quesadilla and diet coke. Since I got my Hot Fuzz DVD for free I guess it evens out.

Plus, you know, movies! Phantom was a lot of fun, but the finale was very abrupt (and really needed another song). Horror + Musical is not a very common mix, so it was understandably appealing to me, lover of all things atypical. And, like I have mentioned before, the only time I enjoy the Phantom of the Opera story is when it is being “modernized” in some way (Phantom of the Mall, Argento’s Opera...).

However, in addition to the Phantom story, this one also has elements of Faust and Dorian Gray, plus, being a De Palma film, several smaller homages to other movies/stories. And, while I doubt it was intentional, the killer’s get up looks quite much like that of the Prince of Space, so that’s always a plus.

One thing that struck me as odd – the film was shot 1.85:1, but had a split screen segment (in fact it’s one of the films highlights). You’d think that De Palma, who is a master of the wide image, would want to go scope for this reason, but alas. Carrie was like this as well. It’s crucial to see the whole image, and this was pre-pan&scan VHS anyway, so you gotta wonder why he wouldn’t want to give himself more room to work with. Hell, Blow Out, when shown on TV, even goes back to widescreen during the split screen segment. Speaking of Carrie, as is the norm at the New Beverly, some “themed” trailers showed before the movie, in this case other De Palma movies. The Carrie trailer spells Stephen King’s name wrong (“Steven”). He’s a writer, that’s a fineable offense! Misspelled credits make me sick!!!

Paul Williams’ songs are fantastic; I might even have to pick up the soundtrack. The first ballad that William Finley sings on the piano is worth the cost alone (I say cost because I was unable to find it on the torrent sites). Williams himself plays the “real” villain of the film, yet doesn’t sing as much as I was hoping. In fact, it barely qualifies as a musical; there’s only like 5 or 6 songs in the whole thing. But without the songs the film would be nowhere near as memorable, making it all the more impressive how much impact they have, considering the relatively small amount of time of the film that is devoted to them. Jessica Harper (she was damn hot back in the day) has a few songs as well, and made me want to watch Shock Treatment again. “Bitchin’ in the kitchen, or cryin’ in the bedroom all niiiiiiiiight!” And then of course, there’s Beef:

For a PG movie it’s pretty insane, I can’t imagine how a kid would react to it. It’s one of those movies that makes you wish the rating system reflected the audience the film was intended for – it’s kind of odd that on a surface level, the MPAA is saying that the (PG-13) Harry Potter movies are less appropriate for children than a movie about a guy who kills a whole bunch of folks trying to get revenge on a drug using devil worshiper who stole from him.

What say you?

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Comedic, Hero Killer, Musical, Weird,

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Bluebeard (1944)

NOVEMBER 28, 2007

GENRE: HERO KILLER, SERIAL KILLER
SOURCE: DVD (BUDGET PACK 2!!!)

Is there anything more upsetting than when you watch a movie thinking it’s about a killer pirate and it turns out to be a movie about a “romantic” killer, filmed in the days before things like graphic violence or blood were shown on screen? Such was the case with Bluebeard, which I watched without reading the description, since many of the Mill Creek synopsii spoil parts of the film.

I dunno if it was a stylish choice, or if that the woman just couldn’t be bothered to act, but one of the film’s highlights was a pretty chilling murder scene, filmed in a Dutch angle, where Bluebeard (John Carradine) strangles a woman. She doesn’t do ANYTHING as he lunges, and doesn’t struggle or anything as he squeezes her throat. Very odd. Speaking of Carradine, I had long thought that the greatest thing to ever pass from his lips (in a film*) would be the haunting theme to Red Zone Cuba: “Night Train To Mundo Fine”. But Bluebeard dispelled that notion, when he asks a woman he just met “Would you let me make a puppet in your image?” Now, like many of you I'm sure, I get this request all the time from near total strangers, but somehow when Carradine says it, it becomes all the more upsetting.

And it’s good to know that the 1940’s had their own Michael Jeter.

There is also a lot of stuff with puppets, including what seems like 5 straight minutes of a puppet show at the beginning of the film. Sadly, this plot device is more or less dropped from the film after 20 minutes or so. Which is a bummer, for I enjoy marionettes. I’d be all for it if they decided to keep cutting to puppet shows throughout the film apropos of nothing, sort of like all the musical numbers in Horror Of Party Beach.

One thing that kept me from enjoying the movie as much as I might have otherwise was the NONSTOP FUCKING MUSIC. Not only does it literally never stop once during the entire movie (at times even slightly drowning out the dialogue), but it’s never really appropriate to the scene for the most part. A scene of Bluebeard talking to some cops has what sounds like the theme to a daytime soap playing over the entire thing, for example. What the hell were they thinking back then? It’s one thing for a silent film, but when people are trying to talk (and nothing is happening), shut the fucking score off! Even if it was Broken Arrow, which contains the finest score for an action movie ever, I’d start getting sick of it. You gotta leave ‘em wanting more!!

What say you?

*Carradine once said in an interview: “I am a ham! And the ham in an actor is what makes him interesting.” We need more actors who admit that they are in fact cold cuts.

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Hero Killer, Horror Classics, Serial Killer,

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Little Shop Of Horrors (1960)

NOVEMBER 15, 2007

GENRE: COMEDIC, HERO KILLER, MONSTER
SOURCE: DVD (BUDGET PACK 2!!!)

One of my favorite movies growing up was the musical version of Little Shop Of Horrors. I had the film taped off of HBO (complete with the “Feature Presentation” music, which I still “miss” when I watch the film on DVD), as well as the soundtrack, which used to bug me because some of the songs were different. I even went to a stage production in Massachusetts a few years back. Yet, it took me like 20 years to finally see the source film.

I was surprised how much I enjoyed the 1960 version. Notoriously shot in only 2 days, I think the movie’s pretty well done, considering. I miss the songs (the dentist just isn’t as hilarious without “You’ll be a DENNNNNNNNTIST!”), and obviously the climax isn’t as exciting, but it more than makes up for it in black humor and just plain weird nonsense that finds its way into the film.

Principal among the film’s strange highlights is Dick Miller’s character. He plays a guy who eats flowers as if it was the most natural thing in the world. When Seymour brings up his new project plant, Miller tries to entice Mushnick to let Seymour display the plant in the shop, beginning his argument with “I’ve eaten in flower shops all over the world...”. Then, a bit later, he exits a scene by claiming he has to get home, for his wife “is making gardenias for dinner.” Hahahah what? Awesome.

The film is very similar in structure to A Bucket of Blood, complete with an ending in which our “hero” is chased for a bit before becoming part of the very thing he became known for in the first place. But what do you expect from Corman? It’s a wonder he didn’t use the same set.

MST3k fans might like to know that Mike Nelson has recorded a commentary for this film, on the DVD released via Legend Films. I have bought a few of his other releases (Plan 9, Night of the Living Dead, Reefer Madness, etc) and for whatever reason, they aren’t nearly as funny as his Rifftrax commentaries. So I haven’t checked this one out yet, but I am sure I will someday. If anyone reading this has already done so, let me know how it is, maybe I’ll fast-track it.

Also, I’d like to mention that I do a damn good rendition of “Suddenly Seymour” if I do say so my damn self.

What say you?

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Comedic, Hero Killer, Horror Classics, Monster,

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October Extras #11 - Track Of The Moon Beast

OCTOBER 11, 2007

GENRE: HERO KILLER, MONSTER
SOURCE: DVD (BUDGET PACK!!!)
LAST SEEN: APRIL 2006 (MST3K)

Here’s a unique choice for an October extra... a movie I have seen both a dozen times, and never. As the movie choice for one of my all time favorite MST3k episodes, Track of the Moon Beast is one I am quite familiar with (moreso than any other October Extra thus far!), yet I had never seen it without Mike and the bots talking over it. Nor have I ever seen the bottom right corner of the film.

The great thing about this movie is how funny it is even without them. It’s such a goofy, yet earnest movie, I laughed just as often watching it “for the first time” today, though sometimes the memorable quips were popping in my head (“Let’s just EAT!”) and adding to the enjoyment.

As a monster movie, it certainly fails to be very exciting. The main guy, Paul, is just as boring as a monster as he is as a human, and his co-stars are no help either. However, Johnny Longbow is something of a national treasure. Joyously playing a stereotypical American Indian (complete with a vast supply of legends to tell, an ability to make arrowheads out of anything, etc), this guy is a hoot, and keeps the film from being unwatchable. His stew recipe is quite unique (corn AND potatoes?) and his silly legends are also a riot.

Look at him. He’s amazing.

It’s a shame he doesn’t spend more time with Paul, because their first scene together makes Brokeback Mountain look pretty straight. Johnny and his students play a really odd prank on Paul, and then walks over to him and puts his arm around him as he explains the prank to his students. He then tells Paul that he is saddled with the students, to which Paul replies “Just like you were saddled with me.” Johnny pauses and says, a bit too cryptically perhaps, “Not quite.”

Also Paul has no shirt on.

Like just about all MST3k movies, the movie was edited down a bit for air, though not as much as This Island Earth or Time Chasers. Most significant was that they cut the entire opening prologue which sets up the meteor a bit. So that was nice to see, I feel I have finally gotten the full Track of the Moon Beast experience that those bastards at Best Brains have denied me these past 8 years. Strangely, a part I always THOUGHT was the result of an edit (a scene that begins with a character replying “Whatever” to someone or something we haven’t been privy to) was actually intact – it was always just a really bad edit in the film itself.

In closing, here’s an image of the monster, doing... something...

What say you?

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Chilling Classics, Hero Killer, Monster, October Extras,

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Hands Of A Stranger

OCTOBER 1, 2007

GENRE: HERO KILLER
SOURCE: DVD (BUDGET PACK!!!)

The thing about movies like Hands Of A Stranger is that they are all more or less the same. Guy gets new body part, at first he’s all excited, then things get weird, and sooner or later he’s killing folks. Part of why I like Body Parts is that it actually had the original owner come back for his appendages (though this was introduced so late into the film it felt very awkward).

This one also takes quite a bit of time to get going. The sympathetic people take far too long discussing whether or not the guy should be given new hands. Since there would be no movie if he didn’t, it’s sort of a waste of everyone’s time to spend like 10 minutes debating the matter. Hilariously, the sister of the eventual killer even points out that she fears the hands will be those of a psychopath and thus her brother will turn into one as well. I guess she’s seen some of the other movies (though I should point out this one pre-dates all the others I know of, such as Oliver Stone’s The Hand).

But there’s some good stuff here and there. One of the first victims basically dies of her own clumsiness, knocking over a lamp and causing a fire. And then, as she becomes engulfed in flame, her body immediately turns into a lump of ash and collapses in a heap on the floor. It’s hilarious.

Also, there’s a child murder, always a plus. And the kid is so goddamn annoying, you gotta figure the guy would have killed him regardless of whose hands he had. The guy tries to play piano, and does miserably, leading the kid to say “Wow mister, you sure do stink!” or something. Fuck you, you little brat!

The film’s ending is also worth a chuckle. After the jerk killer is killed, the cop and the doctor who performed the surgery look into camera for a full minute or so, barely emoting at all as they say their “What a shame” style offerings. We are then told, for whatever reason, in full screen letters: “What is past is prologue!” ....True?

What say you?

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Chilling Classics, Hero Killer,

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Mystery Of The Wax Museum

AUGUST 22, 2007

GENRE: HERO KILLER
SOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)

Seems like it was only Monday that I was watching the exact same goddamn movie... Hell, I even got to copy/paste all the above formatting!

Completing my reverse viewing of the entire American cinematic legacy that is House of Wax, Mystery Of The Wax Museum reveals that Price’s film reached almost Van Sant Pyscho levels of sameness at times (particularly the beginning and climax). However, the middle is pretty different, since the protagonists’ were overhauled in the 50s one (and since this movie was pre-code – there’s a junkie! Who is just a mere drunk in the remake). This time, the would-be Marie Antoinette is the victim (Fay Wray herself – whatever happened to her? That delicate, satin-draped frame…), and her friend, sassy Glenda Farrell, is not dead, but instead a reporter who suspects that the wax statues are real bodies.

It’s interesting watching the films in reverse order, since each subsequent re-telling upped the action and horror. So as it becomes less and less surprising for me as I watch the story unfold, I also get less action for my trouble. Someone PLEASE just tell me there’s no 1911 version with Lon Chaney or something.

Unlike Price’s version though, everyone is pretty much on the same playing field. Lionel Atwill is good, and since he starred in one of my favorite 30s films (Doctor X), he’s A-OK in my book (it’s a short book). Farrell is amusing as the wiseass broad who has about three actual lines and a couple hundred quips. Wray does her thing. Everyone else is typical of the era (over excited about every little thing – including a stranger’s suicide).

The set of the wax lab is pretty impressive for the time too – it’s huge! And I got a good laugh out of the giant dial that says “WAX TEMPERATURE”. Isn’t simply “Temperature” enough information? What if someone wanted to use it for their oven? It would be chaos!

Sorry for the short review. There’s really only so much I can say about wax in a 48 hour period.

What say you?

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Hero Killer,

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House Of Wax (1953)

AUGUST 20, 2007

GENRE: HERO KILLER
SOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)

The cinematic history of House of Wax is bafflingly hard to follow. When Dark Castle announced a remake of the “original” with Vincent Price, many pointed out that the Price film itself was a remake of a movie called Mysteries Of The Wax Museum (which is included on the DVD – a literal ‘extra feature’). And then Dark Castle’s film was really a remake of Tourist Trap! What the hell? It's like we need a damn chart.

Of the three films, or four if you count Trap, this is the only one filmed in 3-D. Which means it’s the only one featuring a guy playing paddleball into the camera and talking to the audience. There’s also a lengthy scene of dancing girls, presumably kicking their way out of the screen and into your lap. Padding: IN THREE DIMENSIONS!

Of course, any film with Price will feel like it’s padded whenever they cut away from Price himself. As one of the most charming and delightful screen presences of all time, you can’t help but get a bit bored whenever they focus on the less murderous characters. Especially when their actions don’t make any goddamn logical sense. At one point, the lead girl, suspicious of Price, tells her boyfriend that she thinks one of the wax statues is really her sister’s corpse. Her boyfriend doesn’t believe her, and to drive his point across, he convinces her to go the cops and tell them her story “so they can tell you the same thing I did: You’re crazy!” Who would actually do something like that? But the story has to be moved along, and dammit that’s how they are going to do it.

Price is in top form, shaming everyone around him as he delivers double entendres like “I’ve done her over a dozen times and she hasn’t complained,” without even having to try, while the others cause groans with their (thankfully infrequent) attempts at humor. Speaking of which, if anyone can understand why the guy sneezes at the end, feel free to explain.

Also there’s an Igor type character, named Igor, who resembles a young Tommy Lee Jones. Sweet.

I picked this DVD up the other day at Best Buy, since it was on sale for 5 bucks and I had a 5 dollar gift certificate (I am a cheap bastard). Sadly, it came in the damn snapper case. What the hell ever possessed Warner Bros (and for a while, New Line) to use these goddamn things? Not only are they flimsy and ugly, but they stick out another centimeter or two when you put them on your shelf. Does they not consider OCD folks such as myself when they make their product? Go to hell, snapper case!

What say you?

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Hero Killer,

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Phantom Of The Opera (1998)

AUGUST 19, 2007

GENRE: CRAP, HERO KILLER, ITALIAN
SOURCE: DVD (ONLINE RENTAL)

And so it has come to this, an Argento film in the Crap genre. I tried really hard to think of a reason why Phantom Of The Opera should be kept out of it, but it really offers nothing more interesting or entertaining than the sight of Warlock fucking Asia Argento from behind. And I am sure there’s another movie that features the same.

It’s borderline depressing that Argento, arguably one of the greatest horror filmmakers of all time with unparalleled ability for creating memorable images and setpieces, couldn’t even make the chandelier sequence interesting. The best murder in the film is when a midget rat catcher gets randomly beheaded (in a scene that is an obvious allusion to Silent Night Deadly Night and Friday the 13th Part 5), a character who isn’t even in the original story that I can recall. Which isn’t much of a surprise; I’ve said before I don’t like the Phantom story anyway, and it seems the further they get from the source material (Phantom of the Mall, or Argento’s own Opera) the better.

But even if the story remained in any way compelling after some 30448560856 versions, everything seems lazy here. The dubbing on the first scene of Asia singing is atrocious (it’s not even in English anyway so why not just use her voice?), the makeup effects are week (this Phantom doesn’t even have a facial scar)… even the goddamn opening titles look like they’re photoshop files with poorly matted out backgrounds. Hell, the character of Raoul disappears for so long I actually forgot who the hell he was when he finally showed up again.

The main problem is everyone except Asia and Julian Sands has apparently stepped in from the musical version (stage or Schumacher, your pick) of the story, acting broad and gestating wildly, while Asia just does her “I’m hot and everyone wants to either fuck me or kill me or both” shtick she always does, and Sands channels Fabio. And the rat catcher guys are seemingly inserted from Delicatessen or City of Lost Children.

Christ, what a fucking mess. I’m not even going to bother with the extras.

What say you?

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Argento, Based On Novel, Crap, Hero Killer, Italian,

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A Bucket Of Blood (1959)

AUGUST 17, 2007

GENRE: COMEDIC, HERO KILLER, WEIRD
SOURCE: DVD (BUDGET PACK!!!)

"Smokey says, only YOU can prevent Roger Corman." - Mike Nelson

You gotta love Corman though. Who else would make not one but TWO movies that are about nerdy guys accidentally killing someone and finding fame, only to continue doing it more and more? Seeing that he would often write a film just to use up remaining time on a set, it shouldn't come as no surprise that Little Shop Of Horrors, which came a year or so after A Bucket Of Blood, had similar themes. Bless him.

Any movie with Dick Miller can't be altogether bad, but this is the rare film that actually STARS the beloved character actor. He plays the worst kind of person in the world: one who aspires to be a hipster (back in the 50s, they were called beatniks). And he's a whiny bastard. But it's Miller, so all is forgiven. Plus, the audible sight of hearing a guy refer to Dick Miller as 'kid' is worth the price of admission alone (which, since this was on the budget pack, was precisely 40 cents).

You also gotta love a movie that is only 65 minutes long and yet still has padding. There's a guy who they cut to singing a folk song every 10 minutes or so, and perhaps his songs are commenting on the story, like Dead & Breakfast, but the audio is so bad I can't understand a goddamn word he is saying. This is in stark contrast to the beginning of the film, where the lyrics/dialogue are simply drowned out by the score itself. The film also features the hippie version of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern; two guys who are seemingly always around, occasionally helping propel the plot forward and often just sort of waxing rhapsodic about things like vitamins. Whether Gary Oldman and Tim Roth will star in a spinoff that focuses entirely on these guys remains to be seen.

Naturally, the intended scares of the film are totally dwarfed by the terrifying sight and sound of a room full of hippies saying nonsense like "Life is an obscure hobo, bumming a ride on the omnibus of art." and doing spoken word poetry. The scene where Miller finally 'becomes' an artist is also horrifying, as he dons a french artist's hat, long cigarette, and all black clothing. Dammit hippies, leave Mr. Futterman alone!!!

The short running time means some things are left unresolved: How did the cat get into the wall? How does a cop managed to get killed via frying pan when he has his attacker at gunpoint? Why is there a guy hanging out in a fireplace?

No matter, this one's pretty damn good for a Corman movie. And it was remade with Anthony Michael Hall. He was the first famous person I met when I came to LA. So... there's something?

What say you?

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Chilling Classics, Comedic, Hero Killer, Weird,

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