The First Power

MAY 31, 2007GENRE: POSSESSION, SUPERNATURALLike whatever I watched yesterday (I don’t have time to scroll down), The First Power is another killer back from the dead movie. It doesn’t count as a coincidence, because I knew that. BUT, both movies had vague hints at father-daughter incest! Heyo!!I actually saw this movie when I was 11. But all I remembered was that I considered it a Shocker ripoff. Well, it’s not. Stupid 11 year old me! I’ll kick your ass! While there are surface similarities (a satanic serial killer comes back from the dead and takes control over other bodies) it’s not

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Possession, Supernatural,

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Tamara (2005)

MAY 30, 2007GENRE: POSSESSION, SLASHERAnother day, another ‘Oh shit we accidentally killed someone let’s cover it up uh oh they came back and now we’re all dead, fuck!” movie. Though Tamara has 2 things going for it that IKWYSLAKHUDJHI whatever the hell part 3 did not: It is NOT the 2nd sequel to a mediocre movieIt is far easier to acronymize. “T”.However it’s not much better. There are some interesting ideas (hints at incest are always a creepy plus) and setpieces here and there, but I get the impression the script required a bigger budget and less bland actors to be more su

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Possession, Slasher,

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I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer

MAY 29, 2007GENRE: SLASHERAt long last, I can bring closure to the part of my life that felt empty by not knowing how the I Know What You Did Last Summer series turned out.Who the fuck asked for I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer? The first one was a hit, but isn’t really fondly remembered by anyone. I recall attempting to watch it 2 years ago and being bored out of my goddamn mind. But, unlike many slasher films of the past ten years, the film had a relatively low body count and most of the characters were actually well developed (I was actually sort of sad when SMG’s character die

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Slasher,

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Patrick Rothfuss's "The Name of the Wind"

Patrick Rothfuss's debut fantasy novel The Name of the Wind has earned some extremely good reviews.The overview to the story introduces-- the tale of Kvothe — from his childhood in a troupe of traveling players, to years spent as a near-feral orphan in a crime-riddled city, to his daringly brazen yet successful bid to enter a difficult and dangerous school of magic. In these pages you will come to know Kvothe as a notorious magician, an accomplished thief, a masterful musician, and an infamous assassin. But The Name of the Wind is so much more — for the story it tells reveals the truth behind

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The Fearless Vampire Killers

MAY 28, 2007GENRE: COMEDIC, VAMPIRESOURCE: CABLE (HDNET)In 2003, a musical called Dance of the Vampires opened on Broadway. It was an Americanized version of a German musical named Tanz Der Vampire. Both were based on Roman Polanski’s film The Fearless Vampire Killers, and the songs were written by none other than Jim Steinman, who, as I’ve said previously (maybe even to you) is the greatest songwriter of all time. I even gave his webpage a link on the right, so you know I consider him as worthy as the IMDb and Wrong Turn 2.Unfortunately, the show closed by the time I finished reading the art

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Comedic, Vampire,

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Cujo (1983)

MAY 27, 2007GENRE: PREDATORSOURCE: BACKYARD SCREENING (!)I can’t recall if I ever saw Cujo in its entirety. It seems like some scenes I have seen like 20 times (particularly the one where Ed Lauter and his Ricky Jay-ish friend get drunk and scare Cujo), while other parts I felt I had never seen at all (like Dee Wallace’s affair with the handyman). And still other parts I wish I still hadn’t seen, like the one where the kid attempts to cheer up his parents by making Jaws references. Not cute, guys.But I know for sure that it was the first time I saw it projected in someone’s backyard.Yes, a

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Predator,

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Michael Scott Moore's "Too Much of Nothing"

Michael Scott Moore is the author of Too Much of Nothing, "a ghost story told from the droll point of view of Eric Sperling, a teenager who competes with his friend Tom for a girl and finds himself, to his utter surprise, killed in a fit of rage."Moore does not have any specific actors in mind for these characters if the book is adapted for the big screen, but he does have some notion of the aural atmosphere of the adaptation:Amazingly, I haven't given it any more thought than, "Something like the Billy Crudup film of Jesus' Son."Not for any special reason except the kick-ass soundtrack -- I

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Bug (2006)

MAY 27, 2007GENRE: PSYCHOLOGICALSOURCE: THEATRICAL (REGULAR SCREENING)Before I begin rambling, I'd like to offer you, dear reader, a bit of dialogue from Bug that I particularly liked (and have probably misquoted):“Don’t kill crickets, it’s bad luck.”“Who said that?”“I don’t know, probably a really smart cricket.”I love lines like that.William Friedkin gets a lifetime pass from me. Not because of The Exorcist, a film I’ve never loved as much as a horror fan “should”. No, because he made one of the small handful of Chevy Chase films in which he actually had to ACT a bit. That film would be

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Psychological,

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Mimic (1997)

MAY 26, 2007GENRE: MAD SCIENTIST, MONSTERSOURCE: DVD (ONLINE RENTAL)I recall driving to the theater to see Mimic during its theatrical run in the summer of 1997, because my friends and I made plans earlier in the day to see it. But they didn’t show, so I called them from a payphone and found out they had decided to do something else, but since I was out they couldn’t get in touch with me. Yes, none of us had cell phones back then. Feel old? Oh wait, that makes me old. Not you.Anyway I never got around to seeing it until today. Granted, since then I have seen and loved all of Guillermo Del Tor

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Mad Scientist, Monster,

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Dr. Tarr's Torture Dungeon

MAY 25, 2007 GENRE: PSYCHOLOGICAL, WEIRDSOURCE: DVD (BUDGET PACK!)In honor of Star Wars day, I decided to watch a movie with rape (you figure out the connection). Actually that’s not entirely false. What happened was, I was gonna watch a movie called Slashed Dreams, which from the description on the sleeve (this is from the budget set, naturally) sounded like a decent (read: awful) enough rip-off of Last House on the Left. But then I glanced at the other side of the disc and saw Dr. Tarr’s Torture Dungeon (aka Mansion of Madness), which was described as a “sanit

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Chilling Classics, Psychological, Weird,

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Fright Night

MAY 24, 2007GENRE: VAMPIRESOURCE: DVD (ONLINE RENTAL)As previously stated (somewhere, not necessarily here), in my (increasingly rare) spare time I write a cartoon about horror movies. Each episode follows the plot of a well-known (or not) horror movie, but is also about that horror movie. Sort of like that South Park episode where they go on a journey to return Lord of the Rings to the video store (an episode I did not see prior to developing the concept, not that I can prove it). Anyway, one of my favorite ideas was to do a Fright Night episode, where one of the main characters would be con

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Vampire,

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House of the Dead (1978)

MAY 23, 2007GENRE: ANTHOLOGY, CRAPSOURCE: DVD (BUDGET PACK!!!)I’m starting to remember why I rarely watch anthology movies (and further, why they are so rare): they suck! There’s a handful of good ones, sure, but most of the time, it’s usually one entry that anyone remembers and the rest of the stories are completely forgettable (i.e. the Zuni doll in Trilogy of Terror).Well House of the Dead, much like Nightmares, was terrible all around. Nightmares didn’t even bother with a wraparound, but here the wraparound was almost the only story that lasted more than 10 minutes. We start off great, ac

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Anthology, Chilling Classics, Crap,

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Linda L. Richards's "Calculated Loss"

Linda L. Richards is the author of three Madeline Carter novels: Mad Money, The Next Ex, and Calculated Loss.Here she shares some thoughts about the casting for film adaptations of the novels:There's been some very strong interest in optioning the Madeline Carter novels for film. For various reasons -- mostly just the nature of the beast, I guess -- nothing has come of it yet. But through all of that, I've had reason now and again to think about this stuff.As I write, I never have any real living and breathing human in my head. My characters are so real to me, they seem to occupy all availab

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Deathdream (1974)

MAY 22, 2007GENRE: ZOMBIESOURCE: THEATRICAL (REVIVAL)During the first week of this whole ‘Horror Movie a Day’ thing, I looked at my Tivo “Horror” wishlist and saw that Bob Clark’s Deathdream (also known as about 900 other titles) would be airing. Naturally, I… did whatever you do to schedule a Tivo recording on your wishlist (seriously, it’s like a 9 step process. "Record?" Badoop! "Confirm?" Badoop! "OK, it’ll record." Badoop! "Go back?" Badoop!)Anyway, after it had recorded, I sat down to watch it and saw that it was actually airing as the movie for a sort of syndicated horror variety show

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Zombie,

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Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things (1972)

MAY 22, 2007GENRE: COMEDIC, ZOMBIESOURCE: THEATRICAL (REVIVAL SCREENING)As previously reported here (and, presumably, legitimate news sources), director Bob Clark was killed earlier this year by some douchebag drunk driver. Last night, on his birthday, the New Beverly Cinema in Los Angeles paid tribute to the man by showing two of his three horror classics: Deathdream and Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things (Black Christmas was shown, in an amazing coincidence, at Christmastime, with Clark in attendance. Sadly, I missed it, and now I am even more upset about it). They also treated us to

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Comedic, Zombie,

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The Alpha Incident

MAY 21, 2007GENRE: ALIEN, CRAPSOURCE: DVD (BUDGET PACK!!!)You know, if I never see another Bill Rebane movie in my life, I'll die a happy man. But I don't plan to watch another one by next week so I guess it's a safe bet.The Alpha Incident is by far his worst movie. A group of people are exposed to some alien virus and are quarantined inside a building. What could have been a great, Thing style claustrophobic chiller is instead a boring mess. Instead of anything interesting happening (contrary to what the composer tries to make us believe with his nonstop ominous loops), we get four folks

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Alien, Chilling Classics, Crap,

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The Convent (2000)

MAY 20, 2007GENRE: COMEDIC, SUPERNATURALSOURCE: DVD (ONLINE RENTAL)Though I have yet to see them all, I have gone on vinyl as saying that Mike Mendez’s Gravedancers was the only really good movie to come out of the After Dark festival (certainly better than “festival winner” The Abandoned). Soon after seeing it, I placed his previous film, The Convent, on my Blockbuster queue. Where it remained (on top) for some 4 months before they finally sent it. Apparently, they only have one copy. The one I got looks like someone raped it. Both sides of the DVD are scratched, fingerprinted, and “scuffed”

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Comedic, Supernatural,

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Bella DePaulo's "Singled Out"

Bella DePaulo is the author of Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After.Here's how she responded when I asked her about the casting for a film adaptation of her non-fiction book:When Geena Davis accepted the Golden Globe for her role as Commander in Chief, she told a touching story about the little girl who looked up at her and said that she, too, wants to be president when she grows up. As some in the crowd started aw-ing at the cuteness of it all, Davis admitted that the tender tale had never really happened. She was just mocki

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Dead Heat (1988)

MAY 19, 2007GENRE: COMEDIC, ZOMBIEI somehow never got around to seeing Dead Heat as a kid. It seems like the type of movie that Cinemax would have aired every night at 10 or so, but somehow it always eluded me. I am ashamed. Here’s a film that SHOULD be remade. Williams is fine, but Piscopo is pretty goddamn annoying. Maybe in 1988 his endless string of puns and mugging was amusing, but today it’s kick-in-the-face-worthy. A remake, with Nathan Fillion in the Williams role (fitting, since Fillion basically played Williams’ Deep Rising character on Firefly) and someone actually funny, may

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Comedic, Zombie,

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The Breed (200?)

MAY 18, 2007GENRE: PREDATOR, CRAPSOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)I have no idea what year this movie is technically from. The DVD says 2005, the IMDb says 2006, and it was released in a couple of theaters and on DVD in 2007. At any rate, I am referring to the one about the killer dogs who never actually appear threatening and starring that one guy from Black Xmas.A few reviews back I pointed out a line that was just as useless as "He'll be unstoppable, unless we stop him." I forget which movie it was (probably a Rebane one) but it doesnt matter, because The Breed had one that topped em both: "

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Crap, Predator,

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