Dracula's Daughter

AUGUST 31, 2007GENRE: CLASSIC, VAMPIRESOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)One of the Scotts recommended Dracula’s Daughter after I pointed out how much I loved the part in Herzog’s Nosferatu where Van Helsing gets arrested for murder. I wish he had pointed out that the rest of the movie wasn’t as interesting, or that Van Helsing was needlessly renamed VON Helsing in the film. I like to be prepared.Instead, DD, as its known to me, is otherwise pretty goddamn slow. There’s some interesting ideas thrown in here and there (not to mention some always welcome lesbian undertones), but there’s too many th

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Classic, Vampire,

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The Ghost (aka Lo Spettro)

AUGUST 30, 2007GENRE: GHOST (?)SOURCE: DVD (BUDGET PACK!!!)Well The Ghost started off promisingly enough. The instant the film begins, someone says “That’s enough for tonight.” Who he is, what they are doing, and how long they have been doing it is none of our goddamn business. It’s enough, and that is all we need to know.But then it goes downhill, as it’s a slow and fairly standard “Horrid shrew of a woman plots with her lover to kill her rich husband” movie. And there’s no ghost. When the title of a film only has one actual word, you’d think it would describe something in the movie. B

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Chilling Classics, Ghost, Revenge,

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Chris Knopf's "Two Time"

Chris Knopf is the author of two Sam Acquillo Hamptons mysteries, The Last Refuge and Two Time.He took Two Time through the "My Book, The Movie" exercise and came up with this take for a film adaptation:Now that Dreamworks has greenlighted Marshal's script for Two Time, I guess we have to think casting.Sam Acquillo is perfect for Sean Penn. Sam's in his early 50's - older than Sean, but not by much, and by the time this gets through development he'll be much closer, right? Plus, it's much more impressive for an actor to stretch a little older than go younger. Sam's a physically vital 50's,

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Ju-On (2003)

AUGUST 29, 2007GENRE: ASIAN, GHOST, REMAKESOURCE: DVD (STORE RENTAL)The release of the American remake of Ju-On, called The Grudge, nearly ended my desire to go to the movies. The kids in the audience were so fucking annoying, I am still amazed I got out of there without bludgeoning one of them with a Milk Dud (it’s possible). Suffice to say it wasn’t an enjoyable theater experience, and I was so irritated I still to this day have no idea if I actually liked the movie or not. I don’t think I did though, so I was in no rush to watch the Japanese original that the film was based on (itself

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Asian, Ghost, Remake,

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Raw Meat (aka Death Line)

AUGUST 28, 2007GENRE: MONSTERSOURCE: DVD (ONLINE RENTAL)Every now and then, I get a movie from Blockbuster that just sort of puzzles me when it arrives in the mail. Such was the case with today’s movie, Raw Meat. I didn’t know anything about it, have no recollection of adding it to my queue, and in fact wasn’t even sure if it was horror movie for a while (other than the title).The film begins with a guy who looks like Magritte’s Son of Man endlessly walking around a blurry city as the opening credits drag on for eternity. Ordinarily this would be enough for me to shut it off to at least co

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British, Monster,

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The Relic

AUGUST 27, 2007GENRE: MONSTERSOURCE: DVD (ONLINE RENTAL)Back in 1997, I read an interview with Tom Sizemore (of whom I was a big fan from his work in Natural Born Killers, Heat, etc.), concerning his starring role in The Relic. He pointed out that it was his first starring role, but in a film people were seeing for the monster. “No one goes, ‘Hey let’s go see the new Tom Sizemore movie,” he was more or less quoted as saying. I showed it to my friend Mike, who was also a big fan of Sizemore, and we were like “We do!” Well I didn’t go see it. And Tom got arrested on opening weekend for sl

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Monster,

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Invasion Of The Body Snatchers (1978)

AUGUST 26, 2007GENRE: ALIEN, REMAKESOURCE: THEATER (REVIVAL SCREENING)Tonight, at the last minute, I found out about a great double feature, John Carpenter’s The Thing and Philip Kaufman’s Invasion of the Body Snatchers. They were showing at the New Beverly Cinema, aka the best revival theater in LA. It’s a great idea for a double feature: both were superb (and in Carpenter’s case, superior) versions of 1950s films, and deal with paranoia, isolation, etc. while delivering the suspense and scares one would want from a movie about alien takeovers. The Thing of course I have seen several times

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Alien, Based On Novel, Remake,

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Bloody Reunion (aka To Sir With Love)

AUGUST 25, 2007GENRE: ASIAN, SLASHERSOURCE: DVD (STORE RENTAL)What is this? A modern slasher movie I am totally behind? One that’s not Hatchet??? And even more surprising, an Asian horror movie I really like? Is Bloody Reunion a fluke, or have I just not been watching the right ones?This one was recommended by... someone (I apologize I can not find the comment with the name, but regardless I thank you for the suggestion). For a slasher, it delivered what I expect – one or two kills I don’t see coming (at least not at the time they do), some decent splatter, an interesting killer disguise

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Asian, Slasher,

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Shadow Walkers

AUGUST 24, 2007GENRE: CRAP, MAD SCIENTIST, ZOMBIESOURCE: DVD (STORE RENTAL)I knew right from the start that Shadow Walkers was going to be bad. For starters, the credits were presented in back-and-forth-vision, where you see one credit, then some quick movie footage, then another credit, then more footage... and so on. This is possibly the most annoying thing any editor/director/janitor can ever do in a film. I can count on one finger the number of movies where it was done in any effective manner (unless the intended effect is pissing me off royally, in which case it's a blinding success).

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Crap, Mad Scientist, Zombie,

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Nathan Walpow's "The Manipulated"

Nathan Walpow is the author of The Manipulated, the latest of his four "Joe Portugal" mysteries.Joe Portugal in the movies? Why not? Here's who his creator sees populating the adapted films:I've thought about casting my protagonist, Joe Portugal, a TV commercial actor who keeps stumbling over dead bodies, pretty much since the first book came out in 1999. Never came up with anyone I've been truly happy with. A few years ago I started considering Hank Azaria (who I was in a comedy improv class with a couple of decades ago). He'd be good, but seeing him doesn't quite make me jump up and say,

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Bad Reputation

AUGUST 23, 2007 GENRE: RAPE REVENGE, SLASHERSOURCE: DVD (STORE RENTAL)I think I might have to take time out of my life to learn about the process of making a movie anamorphic for the DVD release. It must be an extremely difficult and time-consuming process that adds significantly to the budget, because otherwise there is NO FUCKING EXCUSE for any DVD pressed in the past few years to be released non-anamorphically, such as Bad Reputation. There is no discernible reason for not making your DVD 16:9 ready. If you have a 4:3 TV, it will still appear at the correct ratio, so what is the fucking

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Rape-Revenge, Slasher,

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Mystery Of The Wax Museum

AUGUST 22, 2007GENRE: HERO KILLERSOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)Seems like it was only Monday that I was watching the exact same goddamn movie... Hell, I even got to copy/paste all the above formatting!Completing my reverse viewing of the entire American cinematic legacy that is House of Wax, Mystery Of The Wax Museum reveals that Price’s film reached almost Van Sant Pyscho levels of sameness at times (particularly the beginning and climax). However, the middle is pretty different, since the protagonists’ were overhauled in the 50s one (and since this movie was pre-code – there’s a junkie! Wh

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Hero Killer,

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Werewolf In A Girl's Dormitory

AUGUST 21, 2007GENRE: CRAP, WEREWOLFSOURCE: DVD (BUDGET PACK!!!)Some professor: “I believe it was a lycanthropist.”Some other guy: “In other words, a sort of werewolf.”That’s just a sampling of the plethora of worthless dialogue that you’ll hear in any given minute of Werewolf In A Girl’s Dormitory, which barely even lives up to its boring, SOAP-esque title, as only like two scenes find the wolf inside the dorm. It'd be like if you called Titanic "Treasure Diving".Whether the dialogue has any relevance or not doesn’t even matter, because all of it is dubbed by folks who never quite reach “Ba

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Chilling Classics, Crap, Werewolf,

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House Of Wax (1953)

AUGUST 20, 2007GENRE: HERO KILLERSOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)The cinematic history of House of Wax is bafflingly hard to follow. When Dark Castle announced a remake of the “original” with Vincent Price, many pointed out that the Price film itself was a remake of a movie called Mysteries Of The Wax Museum (which is included on the DVD – a literal ‘extra feature’). And then Dark Castle’s film was really a remake of Tourist Trap! What the hell? It's like we need a damn chart.Of the three films, or four if you count Trap, this is the only one filmed in 3-D. Which means it’s the only one featu

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Hero Killer,

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Sam Reaves's "Homicide 69"

Sam Reaves was raised in small Midwestern towns but has lived in Chicago or its environs for most of his life. He was president of the Midwest Chapter of the Mystery Writers of America from 2001 to 2003. He has published eight novels prior to Homicide 69, five as Sam Reaves and three as Dominic Martell.Here he takes Homicide 69 through the "My Book, The Movie" exercise:I’d be lying if I said I never thought about it, though the literary purist in me wants to resist seeing things in Hollywood terms. I definitely do not have actors in mind when I write the book; the characters in my mind’s eye

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Phantom Of The Opera (1998)

AUGUST 19, 2007GENRE: CRAP, HERO KILLER, ITALIANSOURCE: DVD (ONLINE RENTAL)And so it has come to this, an Argento film in the Crap genre. I tried really hard to think of a reason why Phantom Of The Opera should be kept out of it, but it really offers nothing more interesting or entertaining than the sight of Warlock fucking Asia Argento from behind. And I am sure there’s another movie that features the same.It’s borderline depressing that Argento, arguably one of the greatest horror filmmakers of all time with unparalleled ability for creating memorable images and setpieces, couldn’t even m

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Argento, Based On Novel, Crap, Hero Killer, Italian,

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Island Of Dr. Moreau (1996)

AUGUST 18, 2007GENRE: PREDATOR, MAD SCIENTISTSOURCE: DVD (ONLINE RENTAL)Much like Gilliam's The Brothers Grimm, Island Of Dr Moreau the film is nowhere near as exciting or entertaining as the behind the scenes troubles that accompanied it. Sure, a film like Waterworld has a lot of ‘bad press’, but it was all “filming was delayed because of the weather” type stories. There was nothing totally batshit like the stuff that came out of Moreau. Like, I dunno, Marlon Brando, one of the greatest actors of all time, having his lines fed to him via walkie talkie, one which would occasionally pick up

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Based On Novel, Mad Scientist, Predator,

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A Bucket Of Blood (1959)

AUGUST 17, 2007GENRE: COMEDIC, HERO KILLER, WEIRDSOURCE: DVD (BUDGET PACK!!!)"Smokey says, only YOU can prevent Roger Corman." - Mike NelsonYou gotta love Corman though. Who else would make not one but TWO movies that are about nerdy guys accidentally killing someone and finding fame, only to continue doing it more and more? Seeing that he would often write a film just to use up remaining time on a set, it shouldn't come as no surprise that Little Shop Of Horrors, which came a year or so after A Bucket Of Blood, had similar themes. Bless him.Any movie with Dick Miller can't be altogether b

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Chilling Classics, Comedic, Hero Killer, Weird,

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Wrong Turn 2: Dead End

AUGUST 16, 2007GENRE: SURVIVALSOURCE: DVD (SCREENER)Today marks the 6 month anniversary of the last (and only) time I missed a movie since I began Horror Movie A Day. With the occasional double feature, that makes somewhere around 200 horror movies I have more or less watched in a row. Needless to say, the term ‘desensitized’ is pretty appropriate. So how did movie #201ish, Wrong Turn 2: Dead End, endear itself to me? Did it stick out in a way that I can actually write a review without having to check my notes to remember what it was about? Fuckin A YES it did.For starters, it begins wit

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Mutant, Survival,

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The Covenant: Brotherhood Of Evil

AUGUST 15, 2007GENRE: HERO KILLER, SUPERNATURALSOURCE: DVD (STORE RENTAL)You gotta wonder the reasoning behind calling a movie The Covenant: Brotherhood Of Evil, knowing that it’s going to possibly trick people into thinking it’s a sequel to Renny Harlin’s magnum opus of the same pre colon name. Because A. no one in their right mind would want to be associated with that movie, and B. there is no Covenant in the film that I can recall. Or a Brotherhood for that matter. No, the film is mainly just about one guy, who we’re supposed to believe is a successful PR exec, but he’s played by Ed Furl

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Hero Killer, Supernatural,

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Vicki Lane's "Elizabeth Goodweather" books

Vicki Lane is the author of three "Elizabeth Goodweather" novels with a fourth on the way in the coming year.Here she runs the novels through the "My Book, The Movie" exercise:Who could play the leading roles in a movie made from my book? Who might direct?Jeez, Marshal asks the hardest questions.Okay, I’m thinking a trilogy with my first three books and I’ll ask the Coen Bros. to direct simply because a.) I adore them and b.) if they can do a movie around a pregnant sheriff from a small town in Minnesota, a fifty-something Appalachian widow with a law enforcement significant other ought not

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