Bloodrayne: Deliverance

SEPTEMBER 30, 2007GENRE: HORROR?, VAMPIRE, VIDEO GAMESOURCE: DVD (STORE RENTAL)I’ve said before, I got no problem with Dr. Uwe Boll. In fact I admire the guy. And it all began at the premiere of the first Bloodrayne, which was the first “Hollywood” thing I did after moving to LA. While HotD and AitD were pretty bad (though in an insanely ridiculous way), I found Bloodrayne to be a much more competent film. The acting was all over the place, but the script and production value were certainly a vast improvement over his last two, resulting in one of the better video game movies. And Boll di

Read more »

Horror?, Vampire, Video Game,

{[['']]}

The Woman In Black (1989)

SEPTEMBER 29, 2007GENRE: BRITISH, GHOST, HAUNTED HOUSESOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)Never heard of The Woman In Black in my life prior to a few weeks ago. But I was at a birthday party, and no less an authority than Uncle Creepy from DreadCentral told me it scared him to the point of turning his lights back on while he watched it. He himself had heard about the film from someone who told him it was terrifying, so he was like “Fuck that, it won’t scare me!” but apparently it did. And now he passed this “challenge” on to me. Sort of like The Ring of British TV movies.Well it’s pretty good, but

Read more »

British, Ghost, Haunted House,

{[['']]}

Victor Gischler's "Shotgun Opera"

Victor Gischler is the author of four hard-boiled crime novels. His debut novel Gun Monkeys was nominated for the Edgar Award. His work has been translated into Italian, French, Spanish and Japanese. He earned a Ph.D. in English at the University of Southern Mississippi. His fifth novel, Go-Go Girls of the Apocalypse, is due out in June 2008 by the Touchstone/Fireside imprint of Simon & Schuster.In March 2007 he applied the Page 69 Test to Shotgun Opera. Now he has taken the novel through the "My Book, The Movie" exercise and has come up with these ideas for a film adaptation:I forget w

Read more »

{[['']]}

Hallowed Ground (2007)

SEPTEMBER 28, 2007GENRE: BREAKDOWN, CRAP, CULTSOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)Last night I got home and found a release copy of Hallowed Ground in the mail. I didn’t request it to review, so I have no idea why they sent it to me, but they are going to wish they hadn’t. Actually it’s not THAT bad. It’s in fact the 5th best horror movie I’ve watched this week!Like just about every other killer scarecrow movie, it’s just fucking stupid. The chick from Rest Stop (a movie I hate as much as Dark Ride, yet never remember to bash it as much as I should) finds herself once again stranded, though at le

Read more »

Breakdown, Crap, Cult,

{[['']]}

Dr. Giggles (1992)

SEPTEMBER 27, 2007GENRE: COMEDIC, SLASHERSOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)I know for a goddamn fact that Dr. Giggles was a Universal movie when it was originally released, so why it’s on Warner’s box set is beyond me. But I finally own a copy of this oft-referenced movie (my dream – to write and direct Dr. Giggles vs. Shocker, which would be nothing but a 90 minute punfest between the title characters), and having not seen it for 14 years, I was surprised how much I enjoyed it.Granted, a lot of the puns are just terrible, and you gotta wonder just how much stuff Giggles fit inside his little bag,

Read more »

Comedic, Slasher,

{[['']]}

From Beyond The Grave

SEPTEMBER 27, 2007GENRE: ANTHOLOGY, BRITISHSOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)Today I bought Warner Bros’ new box set titled The Twisted Terror Collection. I only wanted 3 of the movies (Deadly Friend, Dr. Giggles, and Someone’s Watching Me!) but for an extra 5 bucks I got 3 others. Nothing wrong with that. One of the three was From Beyond The Grave, an Amicus Anthology with folks like Donald Pleasence and Peter Cushing. And since I blew away my entire horror movie watching time before work trying to 5 star "Psychobilly Freakout" on Guitar Hero II (which I eventually did, thank you very much), I

Read more »

Anthology, British,

{[['']]}

Cannibal Apocalypse (aka Apocalypse Domani)

SEPTEMBER 26, 2007GENRE: CANNIBAL, EXPLOITATION, ITALIANSOURCE: DVD (ONLINE RENTAL)One of the great perks of watching a Horror Movie A Day is discovering a movie I knew nothing about (OK, it’s the only perk. This has severely cut into my video game time!). Such is the case with Cannibal Apocalypse. Like many of the movies I watch, it was simply queued on Netflix or Blockbuster because it came up as a recommendation for another movie. So when I began to watch the film, I had no preconceived notions about it. Hell, I didn’t even know what it was about or who was in it. I assumed there woul

Read more »

Cannibal, Exploitation, Italian, Video Nasties,

{[['']]}

The Dead One

SEPTEMBER 25, 2007GENRE: COMIC BOOK, CRAP, SUPERNATURALSOURCE: DVD (STORE RENTAL)About an hour or so into The Dead One, my cat shit all over the rug. He’s usually good and uses his box, but every now and then he likes to poop in this one spot in the corner of the dining room. Usually this will result in me yelling at him. But this movie was so goddamn boring I actually thanked him, for it was a welcome distraction. That should be my quote for the DVD box: “I’d rather clean cat shit off the rug than watch this goddamn movie.”That 70’s Show was a perfectly enjoyable little sitcom, despite t

Read more »

Comic Book, Crap, Supernatural,

{[['']]}

Dracula III: Legacy

SEPTEMBER 24, 2007GENRE: CRAP, VAMPIRESOURCE: DVD (ONLINE RENTAL)Back in April, I watched Dracula II and commented that I might watch Dracula III: Legacy “next week”. Well it’s almost 6 months later, and “next week” is finally here! I also commented that Dracula II faltered in the villain department by having Dracula play 2nd fiddle to a human baddie. Well Christ, in III, Dracula doesn’t even fucking APPEAR until the final 20 minutes or so, and is killed with another 10 to go. The real villain this time is the film itself, which is insufferably boring and honestly manages to make II look

Read more »

Crap, Vampire,

{[['']]}

Matt Beynon Rees' "The Collaborator of Bethlehem"

Matt Beynon Rees is an award-winning foreign correspondent and author of the nonfiction work Cain's Field: Faith, Fratricide, and Fear in the Middle East.His debut novel, The Collaborator of Bethlehem, is the first in a series about Palestinian sleuth Omar Yussef. Rees lives in Jerusalem.Here he explains the origins of the story, the problems (and opportunities) with adapting the novel for the screen, and speculates about who might play his protagonist:The spark for my novel The Collaborator of Bethlehem was my friendship with a Palestinian in late middle-age who lives in the Dehaisha Refugee

Read more »

{[['']]}

Terror Train

SEPTEMBER 23, 2007GENRE: SLASHERSOURCE: CABLE (FOX MOVIE CHANNEL)How much of an asshole is Terror Train director Roger Spottiswoode? He’s “embarrassed” by this movie, despite a. the fact that it’s one of the classier of the period, and b. he fucking made Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot and Turner & Hooch. “Terror Train? Why would I want to discuss that? Come, let me tell you about the time Stallone and I came up with the scene where Estelle Getty cleaned his gun.” Fuck you, Roger Spottiswoode. If it wasn’t for Michael Caton-Jones you’d be responsible for the worst Brosnan Bond movie too.Lik

Read more »

Slasher,

{[['']]}

The Pumpkin Karver

SEPTEMBER 22, 2007GENRE: CRAP, SLASHERSOURCE: DVD (STORE RENTAL)Someday, maybe by the time I die, or at least, boycott direct to video movies, I will learn to NEVER watch a movie just because it stars someone who I would like to know in the biblical sense. Dark Ride (Jamie Lyn Sigler), Abandon/Disturbing Behavior (pre-Cruise Katie Holmes), Drive Thru (Leighton Meester), Prey (Bridget Moynahan)... the only exception is of course, Sophia Bush, with the one-two punch of Stay Alive and The Hitcher, two films I sort of enjoy even when she isn’t onscreen. Well now you can add The Pumpkin Karver to

Read more »

Crap, Slasher,

{[['']]}

Resident Evil: Extinction

SEPTEMBER 21, 2007GENRE: MAD SCIENTIST, MONSTER, VIDEO GAME, ZOMBIESOURCE: THEATRICAL (REGULAR SCREENING)What the hell is up with the part 3s this year? First the 3rd Pirates movie eschews action in favor of an endless cycle of scenes in which people backstab one another, then Ocean's 13 forgets to be funny, and now Resident Evil: Extinction delivers less action than either of the previous installments, and can barely be bothered to even stay consistent with itself, let alone the other movies.In one of the laziest rewrites I've seen in a film since Speed 2, the character of Claire Redfield i

Read more »

Mad Scientist, Monster, Video Game, Zombie,

{[['']]}

Panic (aka Bakterion)

SEPTEMBER 20, 2007GENRE: MONSTERSOURCE: DVD (BUDGET PACK!!!)There is but one original idea in Panic (aka Bakterion), and it technically comes before the opening credits. For once in the cinematic history of the “Scientist becomes rampaging monster” movie, the accident actually happens BEFORE the movie begins proper. We see a monster attack, and then some science folks are talking about a missing scientist in the next scene.Well actually there are two original ideas. As far as I know, no other film has had a superimposed alarm clock on the bottom right of the screen for no goddamn reason:Wh

Read more »

Chilling Classics, Monster,

{[['']]}

Jennifer Crusie & Bob Mayer's "Agnes and the Hitman"

Bob Mayer is the New York Times bestselling author of over 35 books, both fiction and non-fiction.Two of his more recent books -- Don’t Look Down and Agnes and the Hitman -- were written with Jennifer Crusie.Here Mayer explains how he and Crusie use the movies to aid their collaboration:When Jenny Crusie and I co-write, we start with two characters. The hero and the heroine. Because we're 600 miles apart we have to help each other with the characters. So we end up picking actors and actresses to be the templates for our characters so the other person can visualize them. And not just the na

Read more »

{[['']]}

Boo

SEPTEMBER 19, 2007GENRE: GHOST, HAUNTED HOUSE, POSSESSIONSOURCE: DVD (STORE RENTAL)Last week I had the opportunity to see a new film from Anthony C. Ferrante, a former Fangoria writer who moved on to filmmaking (oddly enough, it was on the same day I watched Halloween Night, also by a Fangoria writer!). As the film wasn’t finished, I didn’t consider it for review, though it was certainly enjoyable enough that it made me want to check out his first film, Boo. Also, it was screened in glorious 48.6 surround sound! “48.6?” You might say? Indeed. 48 discrete channels, 6 discrete subwoofers.

Read more »

Ghost, Haunted House, Possession,

{[['']]}

The Witches' Mountain

SEPTEMBER 18, 2007GENRE: CULT, SUPERNATURALSOURCE: DVD (BUDGET PACK!!!)What is it about the movies that involve cults on the Chilling Classics set that make me like them even though they are technically awful? The Witches’ Mountain is no exception: it’s poorly photographed, seemingly on pause most of the time, and doesn’t make a lick of sense, yet I remain compelled by its non-narrative and heartily recommend it, same as I did for Crypt Of The Living Dead and Devil’s Hand.A big part of the attraction here is the soundtrack. It’s.... wow. Let’s see, there’s one composition that sounds bette

Read more »

Chilling Classics, Cult, Supernatural,

{[['']]}

Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter

SEPTEMBER 17, 2007GENRE: MAD SCIENTIST, MONSTER, WEIRDSOURCE: DVD (BUDGET PACK!!!)Until a few days ago, I never would have had any interest in watching Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter, but I happened to see the new film about James, with an equally ridiculous title: The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford, a film that was quite excellent, although missing the key chapter in James’ life where his partner got turned into a monster.See, whenever I see a historical film I really like, I tend to believe I am truly interested in the real story, and usually go buy a book

Read more »

Chilling Classics, Mad Scientist, Monster, Weird,

{[['']]}