Death Knows Your Name (2006)

FEBRUARY 29, 2008GENRE: SUPERNATURAL, WEIRDSOURCE: DVD (STORE RENTAL)Is there anyone besides me who has seen Death Knows Your Name? I went on the film’s IMDb page – there isn’t a single user comment, the messageboard only has one post from a guy who liked the trailer, and the external reviews page had precisely two links – one from a guy who just goes on and on about the studio tampering with it (it’s an independent film – what studio???) and another who admits he watched the Yankee game and his daughter playing half the time the film was on. Come on! I can’t do this shit alone, I need bac

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Supernatural, Weird,

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Mangler Reborn (2005)

FEBRUARY 28, 2008GENRE: POSSESSION, TECHNOLOGYSOURCE: DVD (ONLINE RENTAL)3rd time’s the charm, I guess. Well, sort of. While hardly a good movie, Mangler Reborn managed to do something that neither of the previous films in the series ever could: be professionally made, and even watchable. Thankfully ignoring the nonsensical storyline of the 2nd film, this one quickly acknowledges the existence of the first (and never mentions it again) and tells its own story. Luckily, the influences for this film seem to be Little Shop Of Horrors and maybe People Under The Stairs, and not the other Mangl

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Possession, Technology,

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Non Canon Review: Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

FEBRUARY 27, 2008GENRE: CANNIBAL, MOCKUMENTARYSOURCE: THEATRICAL (REVIVAL SCREENING)One of the first times (possibly THE first; my memory is for shit) I went to the New Beverly was for a screening of Cannibal Holocaust, which if memory serves screened with a Fulci film. This was in like March of 2006, a few months after I moved to LA (and right around the time I finally had some sort of income that would allow me to go to the movies at all). The next month they showed Cannibal Ferox, another one I had never seen. So now, with like 600 movies seen since then, I had a lot of trouble remember

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Cannibal, Mockumentary, Non Canon, Video Nasties,

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Equinox (1970)

FEBRUARY 27, 2008GENRE: INDEPENDENT, MONSTER, SUPERNATURALSOURCE: CABLE (FLIX)The program info for Equinox seemed to be written specifically for me. As you know, I don’t have any sort of criteria for horror movie watching – no specific sub-genre, no era, no discerning of “backyard” indies from Hollywood blockbusters... you get the gist. Anyway, the description for the film simply read “Devil worshipers and monsters” or something to that effect. This is certainly enough for me, but can you at least TRY to entice casual movie fans who aren’t sworn to an insane duty of watching every friggin

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Independent, Monster, Supernatural,

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Catacombs (2007)

FEBRUARY 26, 2008GENRE: CRAP, SURVIVALSOURCE: DVD (STORE RENTAL)Let me begin my review by offering one half of an apology to one Ryan Rotten*, who writes for Shocktillyoudrop.com. Last week, he expressed his distaste for two films: Wrestlemaniac and Catacombs. As I had just gotten Wrestlemaniac, I checked it out the next night, and as you know, I thought it was a lot of fun. So I assumed I’d feel the same about Catacombs, and thus rented it the next day (yes, I rent movies often days before I have time to watch them – something that probably only makes sense to me). But now that I’ve seen

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Crap, Survival,

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Motor Home Massacre (2005)

FEBRUARY 25, 2008GENRE: COMEDIC (?), INDEPENDENT, SLASHERSOURCE: DVD (STORE RENTAL)Part of my post-viewing ritual is to check the film’s IMDb and Wikipedia pages for some random trivia or otherwise useless information that I can use in my writeup. Usually, when it comes to no-budget indies like Motor Home Massacre, there is absolutely none. Sometimes it appears as if I am the only person who has even SEEN the damn movie. So imagine my surprise to find that on the IMDb board for this particular “gem”, the director, one Allen Wilbanks (who also wrote and edited), had taken to responding to p

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Comedic, Independent, Slasher,

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Headspace (2005)

FEBRUARY 24, 2008GENRE: PSYCHOLOGICALSOURCE: CABLE (SHOWTIME)The other day I watched Wrestlemaniac, which gave Irwin Keyes top billing for one scene. Well he’s got nothing on the cast of Headspace, which gives the first four starring credits to Olivia Hussey, William Atherton, Larry Fessenden, and Sean Young, despite the fact that all of their scenes combined make up less than 20% of the 90 minute film. Come on, there’s not a lot of Atherton movies to begin with, at least don’t promise a wealth of his presence in one and then kill him off 20 minutes in!One thing I will NOT complain about is

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Psychological,

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Erika Schickel's "You’re Not the Boss of Me"

Erika Schickel is the author of You're Not the Boss of Me: Adventures of a Modern Mom.Last year, she applied the Page 69 Test to the book. Here she shares her thinking about the cast of a possible film or television adaptation:Well, everyone wants a movie made of his or her life, right? And since my book You’re Not the Boss of Me is a memoir that is literally what it would be. As chance would have it, my book was optioned for a TV series last summer and I had many conversations with my producers about who would play me, so I come to this challenge well armed.First of all, let it be said t

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Carrie (1976)

FEBRUARY 23, 2008GENRE: HERO KILLER, SUPERNATURALSOURCE: THEATRICAL (REVIVAL SCREENING)For some reason, even though I've never seen the sequel to Carrie, I always think of it whenever I see a veterinarian office. This is because my friend called me after he saw it (I had better things to do I guess), laughing about how the movie featured a 24 hr veterinarian place. He thought it was funny, but I think it's pretty awesome! If one of my cats eats a damn nail and begins choking or bleeding at 2 am, I would like to think that I didn't have to wait 6 hrs to get him looked at.Anyway, that has no

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Based On Novel, Hero Killer, Supernatural,

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Wrestlemaniac (2006)

FEBRUARY 22, 2008GENRE: BREAKDOWN, SLASHERSOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)One of my more scathing reviews is for Drive Thru, a wholly worthless piece of shit that came out last year. I thought about it a lot while watching Wrestlemaniac, because both films attempt to do similar things: making an “old school” slasher movie with intentional comedy. The difference is, Drive Thru failed miserably, and Wrestlemaniac pretty much succeeds.During the film I had exactly three problems. One: the endless opening credit sequence (nearly four minutes, and not over part of the actual film. Two: one charact

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Breakdown, Slasher,

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Xtro (1983)

FEBRUARY 21, 2008GENRE: ALIEN, BRITISH, MONSTERSOURCE: DVD (ONLINE RENTAL)I really have to start watching more British monster movies. Raw Meat was a total delight (mainly thanks to Donald Pleasence) and now Xtro follows suit. No one is as good as Pleasence, but the over smugness of the two male leads, coupled with the general batshittedness of the whole thing, makes for one of the most fun times I’ve had watching a movie by myself in ages.Again, it’s almost always better to go into a horror movie knowing pretty much nothing other than the fact that it’s a horror movie. Such was the case w

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Alien, British, Monster,

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The Mad Monster (1942)

FEBRUARY 20, 2008GENRE: MAD SCIENTIST, WEREWOLFSOURCE: DVD (BUDGET PACK 2!!!)One thing I tend to forget about when I am watching older movies like The Mad Monster is the Production Code, only to have an implementation of one of its "rules" completely take you out of a scene. It’s pretty fascinating when you think about it, and if you’re unfamiliar with it I urge you to check out the Wikipedia for it (or even a real encyclopedia, if that’s your bag). Sometimes I wonder how the film industry would be had the code never been (rightfully) abolished. The Saw films would certainly be interesting

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Horror Classics, Mad Scientist, Werewolf,

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The Innocents (1961)

FEBRUARY 19, 2008GENRE: GHOST, PSYCHOLOGICALSOURCE: DVD (ONLINE RENTAL)One movie I never quite understood why people liked it was The Others, the 2001 Nicole Kidman movie. It wasn’t bad, but it certainly wasn’t scary/suspenseful (to me anyway), and the twist wasn’t all that surprising either. I thought about that movie a lot while watching The Innocents, because it had a similar premise/setting, that of two annoying kids in a giant house and the beautiful woman who takes care of them. And some ghosts.I liked Innocents a lot more though, because the ending wasn’t necessarily a twist, but a

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Based On Novel, Ghost, Psychological,

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Them! (1954)

FEBRUARY 18, 2008GENRE: MONSTERSOURCE: CABLE (TURNER CLASSIC)One sort of nice thing about owning a 16:9 TV is you see EXACTLY how much movie you are missing (at least, for non scope/2.35:1 films) when you watch a full frame transfer. Basically, where there's black on the left and right, there should be image. So it was kind of a bummer that TCM aired Them! in a full frame version, when they usually air letterboxed prints. While not as crippling as say, watching Halloween on a cropped transfer, the film still felt cramped. The moral of the story is, whenever you hear someone complaining ab

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Classic, Monster,

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Mark Haskell Smith's "Salty"

Mark Haskell Smith is the author of three novels: Moist, Delicious, and, most recently, Salty, which was a Book Sense Notable Book. He is also is a screenwriter whose feature film credits include Playing God and the award-winning Brazilian film A Partilha.Last year he applied the Page 69 Test to Salty. Here he develops some ideas for cast and director for a film adaptation of the novel:Turk Henry, the protagonist of Salty, is a dissolute, sex addicted, Heavy Metal superstar. It’s difficult for me to put on my casting director cap and think of someone who could play him. There’s a spec

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Torso (1973)

FEBRUARY 17, 2008GENRE: GIALLO, ITALIANSOURCE: THEATRICAL (REVIVAL SCREENING)One of the more common complaints about Grindhouse was that the double feature may have worked better had Planet Terror come AFTER Death Proof instead of before. Since Planet was such an adrenaline rush, it made DP seem "slow" in comparison. So it was a good thing Eli Roth was wise enough to show Torso before Pieces, since Torso IS indeed a slow film and building up to the incredibility that is Pieces was the right thing to do.Torso is similar to Pieces, in that it's kind of a terrible movie made incredibly good by

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Exploitation, Giallo, Italian,

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